Four evolving thoughts

1. Fancy v/s Reality

Oxford, McKinsey, film based on one’s life are very fancy concepts. Naturally, people also expect those ‘concerned’ people to do fancy stuff in day-to-day life, not really knowing the definition of fanciness. Many alumnus are asked this question- being an Oxford alumni, why are you doing this? You should be running a country or a corporation, or working with grass-root people bringing a ‘revolution’ for God’s sake.

The response probably lies in the fact that fancy things should be able to provide you the bread to eat. For people belonging to the lower middle class strata, it is very difficult to run after the fanciness without bothering for daily living expenses. You can try for a year (at max), but eventually you have to succumb to the reality.

Another perspective- for 99% people, fancy thing does not happen overnight; one has to slog for years. Now, what one should do during that slogging/preparation period, will be decided by her needs, as well as the interests. Aligning the present work with the future goal in terms of work domain or geographical location are some options people usually adopt.

Philosophizing...

2. The ear phone plugged today's generation

What is the significance of putting ear phones/listening to songs when someone is travelling, walking or even thinking? In this ruthless and self-centric world, what one needs is a bit of recognition and compassion. But in a crowded metro or while walking in a street with thousand others, it is nearly impossible that one will meet an acquaintance every day who will show compassion or even a gentle smile. What she will get in stead, the alarming horns, slang words, stupidity of fellow countrymen, poverty-ridden cries of hungry children. These realities are big turn-offs when someone is trying to start a day afresh.
What's the solution then? Make yourself forget the world outside. Create an environment which is controlled by you exclusively. Direct Konika Kapoor to sing after Arijit Singh to play his best number, or listen to a calm music sent by your beloved one. "Ohh, the world is nice, full of beautiful people and I promise that I will also contribute in some ways to make the world better".

3. How smart people like Jairam Ramesh, P Chidambaram or Shashi Tharoor act like a puppet of Rahul Gandhi? Don’t they have self respect?

No person, no political party or corporation, in fact nothing is perfect in this world. The truth is that the definition of perfection is also a relative concept. So, whenever somebody is criticising a person like Rahul Gandhi, she is either in ‘only criticise, do nothing’ mode or in a perfect utopian imagination, which never exists. But if you are a doer, your eyes will be fixed on the final goal; Rahul Gandhi can only be your facilitating medium since he can be best used in that manner.

Of course, there is subtle difference between becoming a puppet (might not be a right word in this context) without any criminal record, but with honesty, compared to that of criminals like Sanjay Singh or Pappu Yadav.

There is another issue: although you are a ‘good puppet’, you have to shake your hands with ‘bad puppets’ already exist in the system. One argument of creating a mental acceptability about ‘bad people’ in a political system, is the definition of democracy. If you argue for giving equal opportunity for non-literates or primary school drop-outs (in 90% cases, these categories will be waste products), why can’t you support the existence of an accused (who is not charge sheeted or given acquittal)? Further argument on this point will lead to the efficiency of our judiciary system, which is again a prominent pillar of India’s ‘thriving’ democracy.

4. Understanding government's thinking

Suppose you are buying a book online. After comparing prices in both Flipkart and Amazon, you find a better deal in Flipkart and went for it. As a smart consumer, you become happy. Simple enough?
But governments can't afford to be that simple. It has to take care of the desi v/s bidesi sentiment, consumer's interest, employment issues, promoting indigenous industries and many others. Many times, government spends money to build an ecosystem  which will be used a generation later or to develop some sub-standard products just to engage people. This is a completely different perspective from a private entity point of view, where every money spent should bring a return.
This is an awesome thought in order to understand and appreciate the philosophy of governance. Continuing with this logic, governments are not here to make profits or do business (eg- Air India, Steel industry etc).
In this way, understanding the basic philosophy really helps answer many complex questions. Whenever you are in doubt, go to the basics. For example, if you are running an organization and have not been able to decide between two options, go and read through the vision and values of your organization. But I must mention, the complexity (particularly for government organizations) makes the execution of a solution difficult most times.

When you meet an unwanted person - 12nd April 2016

So, something amazing happened on 12nd April. In fact, I planned for long to make that happen. I felt good that my last one-month effort eventually yielded the desired result. But there were reasons to be sad as well.

Do you remember the National Project Manager role of UNDP, the talk with the MP Kamakhya Tasa etc? The grudge against UNDP had always been there. Maybe that is a reason why I want to know more about them; maybe to find something bad and comfort myself. After writing the volunteering blog, I emailed to UNV people and also posted on their Facebook page via Kamal’s account. The apparent result was quick when Narendra Mishra commented, but I was expecting a concrete conversation.

Then Digital India youth affairs role came to my rescue. I made the first phone call and scheduled the first meeting in the name of exploring opportunities for collaboration, of course, after convincing my supervisors. The first meeting happened at UNDP office where I deliberately brought the topic of “Strengthening NYKS and NSS” project. And, finally on 12 April, I got the invitation for a meeting with the project team, and guess what, from the National Project Manager herself.

Things that are keeping me busy-
Second phase of house construction

I was excited. I had to pre-pone the meeting so that I myself can attend before going home for bihu. I wanted to see who has been recruited, and probably wanted to compare with myself. After the Twitter fiasco, though sad, I was quite appreciative of Twitter’s choice. But based on the worldwide poor feedback on UNDP recruitment, I was apprehensive.

And, I was right. A totally unimpressive, little older then my age, non-approachable lady welcomed us. In fact, welcome would be wrong word, because, when I found her desk inside the chaotic, dark and gloomy building of NYKS, she looked totally lost.

Let me not write further details how she served us tea, steered the discussion – all crap! I was mostly silent during the whole meeting except asking a few irrelevant questions just to understand the IQ  and EQ level of that lady.

My takeaway- there is no concept called equal opportunity. The world is not a plain level playing field , it is uneven with unequal opportunity. Somebody calls this luck factor as well. Hence, there is no reason to question your ability after a failure; You fail not because of your fault, rather that was the call of time.

On positive side, meeting that lady gives me the confidence that I can do anything. I think I am at such a point of my career/life, where any damn assignment is doable for me.  In fact, if I don’t accept, there is none. It gives me a strong feeling of being responsible. 

The post-election big plan is ON. I believe I must go ahead with that. To fuel me up, suddenly Himalay Sharma episode has also happened. Though I doubt whether BJP will come to power, that shouldn’t matter.

Life is a cycle, isn't it?

This reminds me of the crap people in Microsoft as well. I have not still forgiven them. I am sure there will be opportunities of encounter in future. Will I still be playing the revenge card or will I collaborate with them (if necessity arises) for a nicer outcome? I don’t know—war between head and heart ?

Before ending this post, things that are keeping me busy—the starting of second phase of home construction (I am on home-bound flight writing this post), university workshop and VMS work at office, preparation for facing Delhi summer, IMO with Trishna and wait for the election result. See you soon!

My Health - let me try to create interest in tracking health

As I promised in the last January 27 blog post, let me start this new category named HEALTH. I believe health is a significant aspect of human life and an autobiography blog must track this.

To be honest, I have not paid much attention towards health issues, being fit, physical appearance or anything that concerns with my body. One reason for this negligence may be the fact that nothing serious has happened until now to coerce me towards putting more time and money for health. To answer the question whether I should have put more attention on health, I remember one incident in Hyderabad- I had one of my ears got suddenly blocked for nearly a month. I was forced to hold mobile phone only on my left ear. One fine morning, when the lady doctor (at Kothagua Apollo clinic) removed the waste from my ear, I realized how great it is to be healthy.

The above paragraph, in no way, should mean I never had any diseases. In fact, I have several memories of being ill. Let me try to recollect:

1. I had pox while in school at Agia. I still remember collecting the leaves of a particular tree (from Prabin Da's home) and how Maa took care of my body with all 'home medicines'.
2. Just before starting Cotton College chapter, Maa was hospitalised and I was an attendee at Solace Hospital(old building). One fine morning during dressing, I was watching the blood and I almost collapsed. On that moment I decided I can't be a doctor. Eventually at Cotton College, I stopped attending the Biology classes without telling Deuta.
3. Toothache has tortured me like anything throughout my life. I have around 6 filling + artificial teeth in my mouth. This is one area that has kept my association with hospital/medical active. Even as on today, I need to undergo root canal treatment in one teeth (something I have been postponing since Aizawl days).
4. The eye swelling in Oxford was scary one. Without any identifiable reason, I suffered from the possibility of remaining  with a bulgy eye for the rest of my life(Curtsey- Mehreen's prediction). But with God's grace, the swelling decreased and now I don't have that at all in my eyes.
5. Blood pressure is another area that has been a concern for me. First time, I discovered my high blood pressure during 2002-03 period. The intense mental pressure for IIT/AIEEE made my life hell. After that, my blood pressure became fixed on 130/90. It affected my lifestyle as well; during moments of intense decision making, I sensed hot ear and blackish surrounding. I invested lot of time and energy in changing my way of thinking and procedure for decision making. I have not experienced that black out type moments for quite a few months now. But the inherent psyche that I have high blood pressure, keeps me composed in the moments of extreme agony, which I think, is a good thing.
6. On physical appearance, I think I started losing hair when I had started working in Microsoft. But the rate of losing hair was so slow that I did not even notice and never spent time to find ways to stop the loss. Once the hair-loss became prominent, I remember of visiting Dr. Batra's clinic for a free check-up in Hyderabad. They did some checking with a machine and informed me that I had already lost a lot of hair. Now, they can try to keep the status quo, but can't do anything to grow new hairs. The alternate was hair transplant, which was quite expensive. Since that day, I have never spent even a minute thinking about hairs. But sometimes, I think it does give me an unattractive look and dull personality. I don't know what I should/can do.
7. On physique aspect, I have not given serious efforts, but, of course, little bit of attention as and when the urge came. First time I ventured into that territory by enrolling for gym (yes, by paying fees) in the last semester of NIT Durgapur with the Robo wing mates. It was in the evening time near City Centre. I started eating chickpea every morning to balance my diet. I can't remember why and how I stopped going to that gym. Later,I started attending gym in Microsoft office- mainly to run away from the office stress and to respect the repeated request from Latif (the gym instructor and Akash's friend). I was quite regular, but those were the worst days of my life, and eventually I dropped off to cater to the needs of GMAT preparation. During the Aizawl days, the 302 steps took care of my health and I lost the weight I put on during Hyderabad. Recently, Karuna Da (IIT Guwahati) introduced me to the world of Yoga. I became so passionate that with Jitu da, I  made a habit to visit the block field every morning. At present in Delhi, the home-office walk has been quite effective. In fact, my search for rented house had a big component of health i.e. finding a house at walking distance to office. I realize and appreciate myself for the fact that I have become more concious of my health now-a-days. I am also thinking of purchasing a walk-measuring wearable device.

So, in summary, with no hospitalization and no piercing of any body parts, I have lived a disease-free life until now. May God bless me! Health is Wealth! However, this also makes me a bit paranoid about hospital/surgical operation etc. I want to live a life with no hospitalization and with no lifestyle initiated diseases.

While doing the mandatory health check-ups  before joining NISG, one idea came to my brain. Since India does not have a life long profiling system of all citizen's medical records, why can't and shouldn't I try at an individual level?

Hence in my first post under health label, I am also uploading the medical reports I received recently (health tests before joining Delhi ) as below:

Results of different Blood tests- I	Results of different Blood tests- II
Pankaj Da's suggestion on tests done and to be done	Chest X ray report- appears normal
And, this last report on the right side was the latest condition of my eyes. As you can see, my left eye has been severely compromised; still I don't wear spec. God help!  The non-availability of the last eye check up report (based on which my current spec was prepared) really frustrated me. Hence, again, I decided to keep track of every report going forward.

My last point is on my preparedness for any sudden health disaster. Apart from my NISG medical insurance, I have two other-- the LIC's section 80D one where I pay INR 8000/- as annual premium and Pradhan Mantri accidental insurance one (only for accident) where I pay INR 12/- as annual premium (I am not considering the life insurances here). The sad part is that most of my medical expenses are on teeth and OPD, where I (in fact majority Indians) don't have any insurance policy. 

All the best for a healthy living! 

The concept of Gatyatmak Jyotish and conversation with the founder- Mr. Ashesh Kumar

After Kavita (Jitani) told me about this chap named Ashesh Kumar of West Bengal and his self-promoted concept of Gatyatak Jyotish (Dynamic Astrology), I really became interested.

About Gatyatmak Jyotish: (Curtsy: http://www.gatyatmakjyotish.in/)
Gatyatmak Jyotish is the brain child of Astrologer Sri Vidya Sagar Mahtha, whose scientific bend of mind and life long devotion gave way to this new branch of astrology. Born on 15th July 1939 in the Bokaro district of Jharkhand, Sri Mahtha questioned the reliability of traditional astrology based on the fact that different astrologers gave a different reading of the same horoscope.

Introductory Graph

The main weakness of traditional astrology is related with the calculation of the strength of planets. The surplus of formulas hinder the astrologers to come to a unanimous decision. After studying thousands of horoscopes, he discovered the dynamic strength of planets. The planets can be grouped under 6 different speeds in relation to Earth- (1) Very fast, (2) Fast, (3) Normal, (4) Slow, (5) Retrograde, (6) Maximum retrograde. He concluded in his studies that at the time of a persons' birth, very fast and fast planets grant easy success to their respective signs of the planets to the native. Whereas normal and slow planets give the natives abundant success corresponding to their signs. In the same way retrograde and maximum retrograde planets have a negative effect on the natives. In 1981 the formula of dynamic and static strength based on the angular distance of planets from Sun and Earth was established.

The second flaw in traditional astrology was the calculation of 'dasha-kal.'  After having done years of research work, he found that each planet affects a person's life for a period of 12 years. From birth to the age of 12 years, Moon, 12 years to 24 years, Mercury, 24 to 36 years, Mars, 36 to 48 years, Venus, 48 to 60 years, Sun, 60 to 72 years, Jupiter, 72 to 84 years, Saturn, 84 to 96 years, Uranus, 96 to 108 years, Neptune and 108 to 120 years, Pluto affect human life. Seeing the special effect of various planets during special periods Gatyatmak Dasha Padhati has been established.

On the basis of these two above mentioned scientific basis it was possible to draw a person's life graph charting one's ups and downs, one's pleasures and troubles in life based merely on one's date, time and place of birth. Gatyaymak believes there is no importance to the presence of any planet in a sign of a horoscope, the dynamic and static strength of that planet is more significant, in the absence of which, prediction would be impossible.

My conversation:
 Mr. Ashesh kumar took my birth details via SMS and we fixed an one hour time window to chat. He initiated the discussion and said he would explain the six graphs that he had sent in three parts.

Graph 1

1) First he started with the 12-year period of my lives till now. In general, during the 0-12 years (Moon phase), there are two kinds of children: one who are dynamic, full of confident and enjoys the friends and families; the other is the non-confident one. I was belonged to the non-confident group, he told.

Then during the 12-24 age, there are three types of students-
a) one who enjoys the student life
b) the hard working ones
c) the back benchers who do nothing
I belonged to the category between 2 and 3, he told.

Graph 2

During 24- 36 age, my sole aim was to get reputation. I managed to get bit of reputation after lot of hard work, but I lost the mental peace totally. I have never taken a sleep of 2 hours after taking food (example of leisure). In fact, I have only been running and running; I really don't know what the enjoyment in life. As shown in the graph-2, 2014 was the rock bottom year of my life.

In the next 12-year phase, I will see the exceptional rise. I would start getting positive result by putting lesser effort. My personality, that has been my weakest component, will become my strongest attribute. Though my upward graph has already started, I am still close to the bottom. In summary, the 36-60 age of my life would be wonderful.

2) In the second part, he told me some good/bad things of my life. According to him,
    A. Good things:   1) Property and money would always be with me
                                 2) I have a very strong family to back me up whenever I fall down
                                 3) Siblings (brother, sister) would be a strongest point throughout my life
                                 4) Whatever I set a target, I would somehow meet it.

Graph 3

   B. Negative things:

1) I would be unhappy with my own personality
2) Luck is missing (I need to put 80% to get 20% output)
3) Help from influential persons, being influential is missing
4) I should expect less from my partner



3) In the third part, he explained what are things that I give priority in this life.
  A. I give 20% of my total concentration time towards family matters. Since, I am single, I browse porn sites, Shaadi.com etc regularly, which are 'family' type things. [I am only mentioning his words; for example, I have never even visited shaadi.com]
  B. I am bit workaholic and devote significant portion of my time in office works. But accordingly, the output is not there i.e. my dedication is not actually converting to happiness from work. I must learn 'Smart Working', he suggested.
  C. I give lot of attention to money matters too. But since, I give importance to family more, I can beautifully balance the family and money
  D. In NON-CONCENTRATION area, I hardly give attention to my personality development, physical appearance or confidence building.

Graph 4

After this, he took a break and asked me whether he had been on track. I said YES. Then we had some more unstructured conversation. I asked him two questions
 A. When and how am I getting married
 B. Is there any future study such as PhD.

Mr. Ashesh Kumar asked for time to research on my queries. I called him a week later and discussed my questions. He did not tell anything specific, but expressed his optimism since my 'good days' are around the corner.

The above summarizes our conversation. The upward graph made me happy; I didn't mind spending INR 500/-. Also, this gives me a reason to write a blog post and open a new label in my autobiography blog.

Isn't this interesting? Seeing the future.....wow !!!!

Note on understanding the attached photographs:

Graph 5

1. The Graph-1 reflects enjoyment, pleasure and relaxation in life in which if red graph is above the blue one, it indicates command over circumstance whereas if the red graph is below the blue, denotes circumstances not in command. The graphs closer to the scale 50 stronger in term of gravity, status and ambition in life. 

2. The Graph-2 reflects ambition and growth in our life (if upward, gives growth in the life, however minimizes the pleasure and relaxation) based on the rule, ‘No pain, no gain’, and if downward either shows a relaxed life or a life which doesn’t let any ambition get created.

3. The Graph-3 and Graph-4 reflects pleasure and concentration in different aspects (in percentage) based on our priorities in various aspects of our life.

4. The Graph-5 reflects best and worst aspects of your life in term of life time experience (and planet information).

The astrological aspect while tracking life

By this blogpost, I am suggesting to create a new label titled 'Astrology'. As I mentioned in my year review post of last year (2015), I have started seeing astrology as a decision making instrument. I wish someday I will make my diaries as 'case study' and invite some astrologer to really analyze the whole human life (my life) corresponding to the movement of stars and planets.

I have no memory of being under the direct influence of astrology at any point of my life. The oldest memory - while travelling from Guwahati to Silchar for the AIEEE counselling, Maa gave me a ring (see picture). Fortunately after a few hours, I got NIT Durgapur- CSE and that ring got a significant amount of credit. I don't remember since when I stopped wearing that ring. Maa brought another ring (of Gold this time) after seeing my pathetic situation at Microsoft. However, I don't wear any ring now a days.

Showing the rings I possess, but do not wear

While in Aizawl, first time I visited an astrologer in Abhayapuri as Maa and Dada insisted. He was Master degree holder and his calculation arouse my curiosity for astrology for the first time. During the 1.5 years of volunteering, I met an astrologer from Bakaitari twice- first he came our home; next time I and Arup visited him. After the two conversations, I was convinced that there is more to astrology than blank superstition. Meanwhile, I developed my own definition of astrology- 'it is a tool which can help you take a decision when you are stuck at 50-50 scenario'.

Recently I was referred to an astrologer Mr. Ashesh Kumar by Xomidhan core team member- Kavita Jitani. He sits at West Bengal, but provides online/phone service if given the birth date and time. I was not hesitant to pay Rs. 500/- as I was in experimentation mood. After reading his report (which I will write next) I decided this is worth tracking in an autobiography blog.

Seeing the future is the most amazing thing that human can think of. This is why anything related to that domain should get a position in any life tracker. I hope I have made enough justification why I am including Astrology as a separate category in this autobiography blog.

If ever in future, I realize that astrology is influencing my decisions more than my brain & mind, I would be out of this experiment. Because, I believe, that would be the first step of supporting cult like with witch-hunting.

Attendance for February'16

I am writing this post just to give attendance for the month. I thought I would have enough time to write several posts on health, finance blah blah! But I even could not manage to write a single post.

This is crazy time with university workshops, Maa's visit, multiple travels and very poor time management. I apologies for the same.

I have a lot to write and lot to talk with myself. I must manage time in the coming month.

Sorry and bye !

28th January 2016 - one month in Delhi

So, today I completed one month of staying in Delhi and tomorrow I will complete one month at office. Everything is fine until now, there is positive vibe all around. I have no complaint to make as such. In fact, I am thankful for what has been bestowed upon me by time.

The first five days were well spent in searching for rented places. I feel myself lucky that I got the place comparatively faster and without anyone's help. The rent amount is on a bit higher side than I expected; else, I have nothing to whine.

I was calculating my expenses for the first week. It came out to be INR 73,957/- (including airfare). For the month of January(post second week), it has crossed INR 29,000/- already.

Work wise, the first day was so ordinary that I didn't even feel the urge to write 'My first day at Office' blog post. There was not even mention of the words such as training or orientation until today. From the very first day, I was given responsibilities. Well, I love that to be frank. Currently I am handling several projects such as Ownership transfer of of the DI Portal, DI Newsletter, Hackathon,Destination Northeast 2016,  and the University Workshops. The last three are interesting for me. I also got the opportunity to attend Republic Day parade as Digital India had a tableau. The good news is that we won the best tableau among all the ministries.

Handling the official files is a new experience for me. I can understand now why files are inseparable component of Indian governance. I am eager to learn more about government acronyms related to public policy such as rule, notification, law, order, gazetted notice and so on. I hope I would be able to write something in the lines of 'public policy making in India' someday. I also want to take up a few more initiatives side by side such as organizing workshop on Free Basic, collaboration with UNV etc. But I found my superior officers are not risk-takers. I need to design a way to tackle this. I can't be just a mute spectator and order-follower.

On personal level, I met Dhurjyoti da and his wife, went to JNU for International Food festival, attended the Rongali bihu & injured by hand while playing football there, met Ashok da with his Baikunthapur contingent, had a chat with Rintu, Ritu etc. The two visits by Moina was really helpful in setting up the rented place. I already hosted Wasil and looking forward to hosting many more during my stay in Delhi.

I am also trying to start/analyse a few life endeavors/chapters along with the starting of this Delhi chapter. The blog on full-time volunteering was such a step. I assessed my current wealth. I have also decided to track my health and finances regularly as I move ahead. I discussed with Moina about her boyfriend (how awkward I were!) and the life ahead for her. She needs to get married. Finishing the house construction is a top priority now. Maybe I will also get someone to get married some day. lol!

The daily routine matches with that of Aizawl, except the study part. I get up at 6-30 AM, start towards office at 8-30 AM, took lunch at cafeteria at 12-40 PM, leave office at 5-30 PM, go to bed at around 11-00 PM. The timings are subjected to mood as well.

I am getting accustomed to the new characters such as Surjeet Singh Sardarji- my landlord, Chingri- my neighbour, the sardarji who hardly smiles at me while I pass through his shop, the street children playing in the side of Electronics Niketan, the foreigner girl I always meet near the Jangpura Metro station, Ashok Da, Kailash, the office characters such as Pranjal da, Amit Jain- my cubical mate, the lady at the cafeteria who never smiles, Sunil Sir and his similarities with Debjit, the awkward humbleness of Premjit Lal Sir, the office boys with loud talks, Ajeet, Payel, Ishan, Suraj and Sailendra ji,....wow, suddenly the whole world has changed with different personalities from all around. I love all of them, at least, as on today.

Bless me God ! I am here for a mission. I want to be helpful for a needy, and for the society at large.