Year review of 2019

On the last page of my 2019 diary I termed the year as plain and non-eventful, with much to regret, but nothing to rejoice. I believe that has set the tone for the remaining portion of this post.

1. Let me start with office (which usually contains the word career). In the first half of the year lot of work travel happened and I visited several new places (details below). I wrote about the significance of 28 May at many places (I will enter into Rahu dasha as per Astrology), but things actually got worst after that date. The second half of the year was dominated by work pressure mainly related to Skill India Portal- UAT training and the fights with IBM/IT teams, and the false news of RPL getting INR 2000 Cr. I witnessed the most pathetic digital transformation project in my life. Situations went so far that that I had to appoint others to talk to IT team since I used to get so negative by merely seeing them. This is also a big failure on my part not to be able to control my emotion.
On a holistic level, the insignificance of my role as Deputy Head frustrated me most times. I even questioned my managerial skills, emotional skills etc. Things went to far that I hold talk with Gurpreet on 6 Dec. When she asked which team I want to move, I had no answer. Probably the problem is neither manager nor my reportees, it is the organization.
The year also witnessed the positive transformation of Surajit (remember his first entry with HR?), marriages of Nitasha and Amandeep, farewells of Aayushi, Mohit, Punam, Sonali, Vipul, Ankita, Nitasha(soon) from the team. In fact the fight for resources with HR is one highlight of last year. The pathetic leadership of Manish and MSP, super arrogance of Tamanna continued and made me anguished many times during last year.
On good things - I managed appraisal first time for direct reportees amicably, my engagement in the cluster led project led me to CII and Amazon's fulfillment centre apart from additional knowledge, got opportunities for travel and attending nice meetings (for example the one by International Justice Mission).
Did I try any other job? Only notable attempt was for Amazon via Arun. He helped a lot; but my luck does not appear before 13 failed attempts. After October, I started thinking I might like to close PMKVY and then explore.

2. On Personal fronts, below are the few mention-worthy events:

   A) Moina joining PWC in Guwahati is definitely the biggest development on family front. No progress on her marriage front yet; but the fact that she got into PWC, fulfilled many of my childhood wishes for her and that made me extremely happy & proud.

  B) Getting selected for the Anubhav Lecture series and attending the entire course is the biggest event of 2019 from my personal development point of view. The learning was amazing; it prompted me to dream big again. 

  C) On personal branding front, the year started on an unfortunate note, when I wrote an article in interview format with Pranjal to be published in Assam Tribune- never happened. Then, on the initiation of Deepjyoti, Manikangkana wrote an article for her new section in Niyomiya Barta. The response was good. I also published 2-3 updates in Social Media towards the end of the year on CAA/Detention Camp. 

  D) The '169 Days' project did get an exciting start after my April visit (where I met couple of ex ULFA militants, gathered paper cuts from 1991) and train journeys (where I wrote 2-3 chapters at one go). After much struggle (with the crack provided by Vijay) I was also able to install Scrivener, the software used by Chandrima. The second half of the year was a complete waste. I put much dependency on meeting kidnapped persons before writing a new chapter, which cost me heavily. Except Mr. Pal nobody bothered to meet me and I became a victim of procrastination. I need a ne
w strategy now, I am desperate. 

Waiting to exercise my democratic right

  E) For the non-profits, I devoted some time for Xomidhan this year. The Nagaon trip for reviving Xomidhan’s bank account(remember waiting for the bus moments),  multiple visit to Mahipalpur and Green park branch to finally revive the bank account (still internet banking is pending), the monthly call and regulars stats- all are positive developments. The year ended with the launch of ScholarAssist and celebrating a decade of Xomidhan’s existence. Nothing much on the library, except buying books from Gujarish- Books for All on 10 Nov 2019.

  F) I have written on multiple pages of the diary last year about my fucked up personal life. What I meant is the marriage thing. It has two parts - the estranged relationship with Trish and not able to establish any new relationship for marriage. It was the biggest debacle of the last year. I even opened an account in Jeevansaathi.com, later deleted. Phulen initiated conversation with one woman at PGI who never bothered to revert; Pranjal tried another, who said sorry. The conversation with Trish stopped between, then again started. I have observed she has 'kind of' accepted the reality. But she is still unable to digest the fact that I must get married or date someone else. Something 'change' needs to happen, I believe. In this context, I got to know Bishmita, who became a good friend. The coming year of 2020 is crucial in this topic. I must act - I am old enough now.

3. On Finance front, here are the top developments:

           A. I invested 1 lakh with Tapan's Pronamo Light with 7% simple interest. The EMI was supposed to start from 15 Sept'19 - no update still. Although I was impressed with his documentation, I think that was not a good decision.

           B. Pranjal returned the first installment with profits. I invested 50 K again.

           C. The repair of the Wagon R consumed around INR 27,000/-

           D. The Sharekhan trading continued throughout the year. My PSU  and Anil Ambani company stocks doomed- I lost lot of money. To understand more on trading, I attended Power money free workshop. Although the concept looked promising, I could not gather the courage to invest around 30K+  and one week of time. I need to learn more on theory of trading- that's what I learnt.

                E. The year ended with Dada's desperate request to provide loan to him at 5% simple interest. I even went to bank physically to process the money transfer (as I had lost wallet in Ramnagar and no card with me). I hope this does not turn out to be NPA as point(A) above. Both of these are super risky investments as I don't have any strategy to make the loan repaid.

          F. In Appraisal, I was rated 'High' just below 'Star', got around 9% hike and my CTC crossed 25 Lakhs for the first time.

4. Health:

Although the year started with very bad health condition, most part of remaining year went well. I only wrote about bad health on three instances- just after appraisal (loose motion and fever), high BP while coming from April home trip and during first week of August just after the Itanager trip when I skipped office for a day. However, there are two big developments of the year on health front. Firstly, I finally visited an urologist for the red mark on penis head and the skin issue. I did a few tests, made a follow-up visit, continued the medication for several weeks- it has improved, but no full cure. Later during health check up, the Medanta doctor told that is skin issue and dermatologists need to be consulted, all fine from urology perspective. In these visits, I will never forget undressing my private part in front of someone. However, the biggest achievement or health performance of last year was the completion of RCT on my lower jaw tooth and having the cap at Smile Dental clinic in Mahipalpur after around 5-6 seating. Considering my fear for dentist, I could not help myself patting on back for completing this activity in 2019. 

5. Important Dates:

•        13 Feb – First line of the novel; maybe the stoppage of Airtel dongle (from NegD) helped-:)
•        19 Mar - Coming of summer- bathed with cold water for the first time
•        30 Mar – Visit to national archive, NM library and planetarium- all alone for book research
•        16 May – Shubham’s farewell dinner at Lemontree hotel
•        23 May – Modi won again, becoming stronger,  in 2019 Parliamentary election
•        24 May - Visiting NIT Durgapur after more than a decade (Tea Board the next day)
•        23 Jun – Mathura trip with two MPs, then disaster at Shivaji stadium metro station
•        19 Jul – Situation at office went so frustrating (with high BP) that I took a day off; met Vikram, Abhijit Da at ONGC. Anubhav lecture series from the next day
•        13 Aug - Visited Supreme Court of India for the first time for office meeting (Mr. Ranjan Gogoi is CJI)
•          14 Sep – Visiting the inside of a construction site for RPL opening ceremony of Credai
•       20 Sep – Meeting Krishan Pal- first interview of a kidnapped person for my book
•        5 Nov -  Facilitating the meeting between Pranjal and Rajib Da at Secular House; I wrote in diary this day would be the start of an ambitious initiative; now 3 months later- it's taking shape
•      12 Dec - Journey from Ghy Airport to Agia amidst CAB protests 

6. Travels undertaken : When lot of work travel opportunities came in the first half of the year (mainly to fight my weekend boredom), I had to decide which place to visit. Then I decided to give a meaning to the travels and made a travel chart 'Zing Travel Express'. That was my attempt to make travel interesting and meaningful. Below are the places I went outside NCR:

1)      Mumbai visit to attend GC of BFSI, stayed with Moina, met Gagan with his family, met Kanad after years and the long chat, entered BSE building for the first time, stay extended as I booked right ticket for wrong dates, felt very sorry. Couple of Mumbai trips later as well, including the one where I met Mr. Krishan Pal; another where I went IIT Mumbai.

2)      Coimbatore visit to attend GC of  Textile SSC, visited Isha foundation, then textile mill for first time.

3)      Ajmer- Jaipur trip, writing novel in Satabdi, visited the only Brahma temple at Pushkar, Ajmer sharif, and of course the sudden barefoot college visit.

4)      My first ever visit to Madhya Pradesh - monitoring visit to Bhopal and Raisen.

5)      First visit to Bihar (Vaishali, Patna, Darbhanga via Muzzafarpur & Hajipur)

6)      Chennai trip – visiting mining site for the first time, L&T office and meeting Anshuman at beach

7)      The Tawang trip coupled with the home trip. Lot done in this home trip.

8)      The short Lucknow trip- could not meet the kidnapped IAS guy, but wrote a chapter in the train.

9)      Home trip on Office expenses, visited Darrang etc (BD’s sad face while saying goodbye).

10)   Varanasi visit with Aakarshan, visiting many temples and ghats, conversation over drink with Aakarshan - he is a nice guy.

11)   Itanagar trip to attend Kisan Sampada Workshop, going via Satabdi, coming via Lilabari

12)   The home puja trip - the unforgettable get together of JNM 2000 metric batch, establishing contact with Bikas again, visiting Goalpara jail and watching the detention centres 

13)   Bangalore trip and the NESA get together with Agru, Saurav, Rupak and Swakshar.

14)   CAB protest home trip, The journey from Ghy to Agia, Moina’s marriage, the failed meetings.

15)   Chandigarh trip to meet Rajinder Singh and the way he ditched at last moment, bloody fucking attitude by Phulen, great hospitality by Saahil and his family, awesome meeting Piyush of Anubhav.

16)   The journey to Ramnagar, Nainital and Jim Corbette park with Moina, Disha and Sheetal.

7. People- new, old, leaving

1.       Anil Sahai, new, Sentio Advisory, the troublemaker at office with old Assamese connection

2.       Hitesh Da (revived, stayed at my place on his Delhi visit)

3.       Rajib Da(became very close when he took drastic decision to return to Assam)

4.       Kaushik Ray, new, with his NDA dreams

5.       Arshi Adil, Piyush, Ankita, Anupama and all others in Anubhav lecture Series

6.       Interns at office – Anju, Ayushi and Yash

7.       Bishmita Dutta, new, became good friend

8.       Amal Da (revived from Asomiya Pratidin Jagriti Yatra connection)

9.       Bikas Das (revived, how can I forget they fed me in their rented house after SKCs chemistry tuition)

10.   Utpal Da, new, the person who wants to unite all Nath Yogis of the world

11.   Manish Joshi, Shubham, Megha, Dibakar (emotionally) - they left and became less relevant in 2019
12. Leaving for heavenly abode - Jethi (Jiten's mother), Surya (Ramen's brother)

8. Recreation:

1.       Watched plays by Dr. Bhabendra Nath Saikia in January

2.       Watched the play 'To Poidam' by Badungduppa at New Delhi theater festival

3.       Movies- Badla, Joker, Dabaang3

4.       Learning Manadala Art- maybe I should revisit this someday. I realized how much I don't know.

5.       Watching Surajit’s prog on 1 Aug and having dinner at Pot Belley with office people

6.       Watched Xatriya at IGNCA after attending the book launch of Achyut Daaas 

7.       Watched 3 Assamese movies this year ---Kanchanjanga completely alone at night (not as recreation, but to deflect myself from stress), Ratnakar where I paid the ticket prices of 6 people, and then Aamis, the most talked about movie of the year.

8.       Watched Abhigyanam Sakuntalam, in Kashmiri language at JNU, met Tankeswar Da with Rajib Da.

9. Notable Public Event of the year 

a. Citizenship bill dominated the year; the year was started with AGP coming out of Sarkar on 7 Jan and protest all around; the year ended with protest while CAB becoming CAA, but AGP betraying people of Assam. Huge protests all around Assam - unprecedented, unimaginable!

b. Big decisions taken by Modi Govt - first strike at Balakot followed by Pulwama attack which eventually made Modi win election; scrapping Article 370 after election result was a bold move as well.

c. CJI Ranjan Gogoi ended his tenure by pronouncing judgement on Babri Masjid demolition case.

10. Last year review thoughts and for next year:
In last year review post, I wrote- Moina's marriage, post-election big-bang something, work on the book, more public writing. Nothing has happened on the four fronts, except 3 chapters on the book promise.

For next year, I have no hope from myself. Period.