I was trying to understand/remember the different labels of my blog. What should be an event? I think the subject of today's post definitely qualify for an event.
From the time I left home for studying in Cotton College in the year 2000, staying at home was never a 'permanent' phenomenon. From the perspective of the society and from the self imagination about future, staying at home was never on card. This thought process witnessed a change when I stayed at home for around 15 months post Oxford. I must say that was not a deliberated decision, rather a situation being forced upon my life. I branded that period 'Fulltime volunteering@home'. I learnt, initiated, failed, achieved and missed achieving several things during that period.
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| Becoming lifetime member of AXX |
After that stint, I believe, staying permanently at home (at least in Assam) has been in the thought process after a specific period (still don't know what's that specific period though) of life. Maybe when I will become 50 years old! I don't know.
Things took a turn with the emergence of work from home(WFH) phenomenon during Covid. Joining EdCast and planning of baby together made me taking a deliberated and well thought decision of returning home. In the mid of October2023, I surpassed the duration of post-Oxford stay and this stint marked my longest stay at home. Personally, this is a huge event for me.
Now, I am 95% sure that I would be spending the last parts (maybe post 50 years) of my life shuttling between Guwahati and Agia. Situation is such that if CSoD asks me to relocate out of Assam now, I will make 3-4 attempts before comply with that decision. Since there is still 10 years for me to touch 50, I might still be willing to relocate out of Assam if given a great opportunity.
Let me write some good and 'what more' points of the homestay:
1. If WFH option is there, relocating to tier 2/3 cities is a suggestion financial advisors would give anyway. Financially, this has been a great decision for me.
2. The child birth and initial 1/2 years of the baby needs a support system. This is another wonderful decision for me and Nina w.r.t. Rodalee.
3. Being at home has given me opportunity to prepare for future 'permanent stay' period. For example, the PhD, development of land/real-estate, investment in local opportunities(Rubber) and other avenues, reviving the social circle, construction of rented parts at home etc.
What more:
1. The writing of A2O is completely stopped after the start of PhD.
2. Have been trying to purchase a piece of land for commercial purpose, but it is not happening somehow.
3. The decisions/preparations attached with 'preparation for future' is not completed yet.
For future:
1. I have to decide an amount which I would need every month to sustain myself(with family, aspirations, comfort etc) in Assam. Considering my current CTC, it is no brainer that settling in Assam would invite pay cut. I believe with my skill and ability I can keep on accumulating wealth provided I am flexible with location. Hence, this decision of staying back in Assam compromising pay cheque is not easy. But there is no running away from this now or at most before I turn 50.
2. Do I see academic institutions as my potential employer in future? Is this new found interest looking at some of the IIT professors? Remember how I hated academia at one point of my life! How should I compare between instt such as IIT where I need to start from Asst professor level v/s private universities such as USTM? What about consultancy- how should I compare between a job with Big 4(say) v/s Government deptt contractual roles? Job- until when? why?
3. Nina's career is another big decision point. Her engagement increases while in Assam. But is there need of permanency in her engagement? Her efforts are not yielding expected output. From her side staying in Guwahati with weekends being in Agia makes the most sense.
4. Education of Rodalee, the planning of second child, health situations of Maa, parent-in-laws are also factors impacting hugely in future. These are biggest events of human life and I have to be mindful.
5. Sometimes I think, a few drastic events will play huge role in my decision to stay even if I can't calculate an amount as mentioned in point#1. If I can publish A2O, a new direction (of work, career, personality) will emerge. Otherwise, the status-quo will continue with dependency on CSoD. If IITG starts a school of Public Policy, maybe another direction will emerge. If I meet the chancellor of USTM or HBS or Gaurav Gogoi (if Congress comes back), maybe another direction will emerge. On a different note, if I can make the Dudhnoi land ready for commercial purpose, another direction might come. I don't know to be honest, just my thought as on today.
6. Along with all the thoughts above, there is the constant fear or question that bothers me. Have I compromised with my career? I could have become Arvind Pangaria or Karl Mehta or Nikhil Kamath (do I want to become like Nishchae, Alvaro- No, Aaron- maybe), but I did not even tried. The mismatch between my education, passion and skill is a big big concern. The vacuum of intellectual circle in Agia, Guwahati - has it contributed to downgrading my own ambition? Am I the typical 'kharkhua' who can't sustain outside Assam? Am I becoming the typical family man? Is my life graph, which was going exponentially upwards, has reached a steady state? Is there wrong with my overall thought process? But, I am happy at home now. Am I likely to be happier if I can become like Satya Nadella or Amartya Sen? I doubt, but maybe yes, I have never been in their circles. Will I leave more legacy if I become like them? Definitely yes.










