27th June 2014 - Leaving Oxford by bus

7-42 PM:

I am inside the bus from Oxford to London- my last journey by the OxfordTube. On this last day I applied the UNDP job and promised to Oxfordshire that I will be back for graduation in November if I get that job. In fact, I was to leave Oxford tomorrow; but the loneliness of my room and the place were killing me. Somehow I just wanted to get out of the place. I was feeling so so alone. 

Just after entering OxfordTube(Snap by Anjul)

I remembered Aizawl- there were no Pranjal or Shamim to look up to. But Anjul and Faissal did show up and helped me do the final packing, carry the stuffs to the bus station and took some last snaps. 

May be it is human expectation that I want Oxford to feel some void as I am leaving. But the scene is completely different in case of a place like Oxford. People come here to go out one day. Oxford has seen generations entering and leaving. I am just one of them. Hence, I should not feel bad at all.

I am remembering my last bus trip from Aizawl to Guwahati. It was nice because I knew somebody will receive me in Guwahati and then I will head back home. In this case, I am going to a new country, no phone, no internet and to a place whose keys are with the reception of a hotel- uncertainty at its peak. 

But BSG has taught me how to handle this. In fact, I am looking forward to the evening of tomorrow when I will land in Amsterdam; I am sure something will go terribly wrong.

I have not been able to ‘enjoy’ the farewell to Oxford as I am due with two assignments; and believe me, I have not started single line until now. This is a big learning for me- never procrastinate things when you have something like ‘starting a new phase’ of life. To be honest, I am quite worried about the two assignments. These two have also ruined my last days in Oxford. I am so sorry for letting this happen- this is all my fault. I could have managed the situation differently.

I have small belonging

I will be staying with Alex tonight before boarding the bus tomorrow morning. I have exchanged around 280 Pound to euro, but have no idea how much will I need. OK, let's not think all these now. My blood pressure boils up. To be frank, I am so poor in managing shifting; I need to improve in this area. I should get used to smooth transitions. I hope things will be far better in future.

Bless me God! Bless me so that I can come back to oxford for graduation. I am ready to start a new phase of life, but want to start the phase with the seed put in oxford. 

Oxford- you have been amazing and a life changing experience for me. If I have to think of going back to student life again, I know where I should be! Thank  you.

Thank you for everything !

8-02 PM : on the bus still, about to reach Shephard Bush!

(Alex came to the bus stoppage to receive me and I stayed the night at Alex's place that day. And yeah, something actually went terribly wrong once I arrived Amsterdam)

Just felt like writing about myself, my thoughts, plans, just random!

I was watching the interview of Gaurav Gogoi to an Assamese TV channel. He has the ‘elite’ class mentality in his talks, something I hate from the core of my heart. When I look at my life, I believe common people will love my life-story. Particularly when I will project myself in public life such as in politics, people will empathize with me. This is what Bhargab suggested the other day. 

When I want to justify why I am adhering to the traditional stuffs such as ‘speaking properly with oxomiya without mixing up English’, ‘spending much time following the Assam politics’, ‘trying to be liked by all personality’ , I find no other career options other than entering into Politics. Only then I can answer the questions like why I did not try to go to Redmond and buy a BMW, why I didn’t continue the leisurely life of Aizawl and why I am not trying for a DPhil or a high paying job with McKinsey or BCG. Options are open for me, but I want to go back to India. 

But what the hell will I get back after going back? Family, ok, that’s a good reason. But where is the uniqueness of Manjit Nath? Why I didn’t apply for DPhil- hmm, let write about that later. 

Post MPP – hmm, I want to work in Assam, at least until I get married. Getting a girl for marriage is also a reason behind staying in Assam. But the biggest reason is that I can expect a flexible environment to apply my knowledge in my state. Also, I have been interested to work in Assam. The whole big dream of making Guwahati run after me has to start from some day. May be I will get bored off in one week, or maybe I will invent a completely new direction—only these two extreme conditions are possible in case I start working in Guwahati; a middle-level position is acceptable for me as well. 

But if that does not work out (very little possibility that something will work out), what should I do? In fact the question is whether I should go back to India or try something here and there! Well, I don’t know and I have absolutely no idea. After the internship thing is fixed, there will be a direction for sure. Let the internship thing gets clear, and then I will think more on this.

Visit of Maa- I am putting all efforts to make this happen. I can’t stress more how big it is for a woman like Maa. She was asking me today whether she has to wear something else. I wish Deuta were alive and I could arrange a foreign trip for both Maa and Deuta. Maa’s trip should happen at any cost.

Moina’s result- first her fifth semester clearance and then the unexpected IRMA interview call. This has made me super positive last week. I have grown up with her; she must attain the best that is available. She has been the woman with whom I am closest after Maa. Seeing her crying in the last months ruined my mood for several days- I felt paralyzed as I was not in a position to do anything. Maa, Dada everybody was severely affected and worried by her future. Now, there is light. I am getting back the optimism that I possess for her years back. After all, she is my sister and we all know how to fight back from the rock bottom. 

Woman- absolutely no woman in my life currently. Scenario of this type has been rare in my life when I mean absolutely zero influence by any woman. Wow- really, maybe a sign of getting old. Who knows?

Family is super important. A stable family is a blessing by itself. I am blessed with that at least.

Not much negativity in life to be frank. Let’s cheer the positivity. Let’s be optimistic.

Manjit

(10-50 PM)

13rd March 2015 - Frustrating time and currupted mind

I am in a heavily frustrating state. I returned home on 8th September'14 and till today I am unemployed. The unemployment part was not much worrisome when I was engaged in the volunteering work. But now that the livelihood project is over, I am completely jobless & thoughtless.
The pending result from Twitter is the biggest obstacle for taking any concrete decision. There is absolutely no way to find out what is going on the other side. This is making me restless. Yesterday, I sent an email to Colin directly without knowing whether that was a right thing to do or not.
What if Twitter does not give a good news? As days are progressing, I am increasingly getting apprehensive about joining CFBI. My interest level has gone down; also, I am unsure whether the offer is still open. Yesterday, I almost decided to send an email to the VC of Jindal University (haven't sent until now). Sending email to Grace, Inquiring possibilities with Prateek Hajela, meeting Prodyut Bora in Guwahati are some other options I am weighing out at this point of time.

Amidst all the chaos, my mind has gone terribly wrong. I have realized the typical feeling of 'not going outside Assam' has slowly come to my mind and I am pressing hard to do away with this kind of emotions. The zeal to change the world has reached the rock bottom. The other day I spent 3 hours watching some C-grade movie in order to divert my disturbed mind; I felt terribly sorry after that. Writing- I have not been able to write a single piece in last 5 months. In fact, I can't really concentrate beyond 10 minutes. This blog-post is the first 'attention-requiring' thing that I am doing after a long time. I am slowly becoming an average thinker. Help me God! This is not because of the people around me (to an extent yes) , but my 'waiting mode' has contributed the most for degrading my thought process.

I am in terrible mental pain. I want to do justice to the Oxford degree; I also have to be careful of not committing the same mistakes as earlier. Last week, the email from BSG inquiring my whereabouts made me sad. I have postponed several Skype calls with BSG people because I have nothing to share with them. Maybe I am running away from all the people who ask tough (read as appropriate) questions.

Show me light God ! This is not what I imagined while taking the decision to come back to India. I also remember promising you that I won't need God's favor for my post-Oxford endeavors. But here I am again. I just need an entry point please !

Why this Blog?

Writing an autobiography has been on my mind for last couple of years. If I do not publish the words written in my diaries since class VI, then I would do injustice to the very habit of diary writing- this is how I position myself in the mental debate of whether or not penning down my autobiography.
My frequent visit to the Oxford center for Life-Writing at Wolfson College, the personality cult of Homen Borgohain with his superbly written autobiographies, the published diaries of Bhabendra Nath Saikia, the visit to Anne Frank's hidden place in Amsterdam, and most importantly the closure of my secret blog on my failed (fortunately!) MBA voyage have earnestly prompted me to initiate 'something' towards a future autobiography. I have also realized that I am not critically analyzing myself these days as there is not a 'store-house' to safely keep my written analysis.
Hence, I decided to start another secret and unpublished web blog, and 'For An Autobiography' is just the output. Though the decision was taken during Oxford days accompanied by a few writeup, the on-internet creation of the blog took some time. 
I must mention this blog itself should not be considered an autobiography; rather this will assist me whenever I would sit down to start writing an autobiography (hopefully) in future. I will use the 'Labels' effectively from beginning as this blog is expected to have many posts. Though I have not been able to sketch a rough structure of my autobiography (even after heavy research), proper structuring of the blog will ease my future effort.

All the best dear future autobiographer Manjit Nath.

Regards,
Manjit
6th March, 2015

A memorable Diwali morning

Diwali @ Hyderabad has always been memorable for me for different reasons. First time it was more of romantic reason, last time it was the darkest- after calling up 19 people in hyderabad I found no one free for me, ended up the night watching Hannibal 1 & 2. This time I did not give a second thought when Nischal called me up to go to Kukatpally , Rickshaw Puller Colony Govt School to meet the 11 students selected for ILP + Premalayam scholarship program. Manmohan and Narayana were accmpanying us.

It is often said you have to be good listener to be a good speaker. True, but  when you’re sitting with people talking in an unknown language you can do your best if you act as a perfect observer. I always enjoy observing people even when I am sitting with friends in a cock-tail party amidst a heated argument. Whao ! it is fun as well as knowledge gainer. I want to pen down a few things I observed this diwali morning.

1. Speech of the Premalayam lady : She was simply awesome. The way she included all the points in her speech, much appreciated. It is not always about doing good works, how you communicate it out with all details, rules and pre-conditions-- that clearly depicts the whole purpose.

2. The story of the muslim girl : One of the selected candidates was describing her background and why she needs the scholarship. She has been fighting with her parents and relatives who were against her study. But she stands alone, earning money by teaching here and there for her own study. "I want to be a teacher, and when I will have some money I will start organization like you to help poor students like myself"...... That was enough to draw tears from everyone's eyes.

3. Praveen's  anti-journalism : When the above girl was crying one lady from Premalayam (Must be an India TV and AAj-Tak fan) opened her digi-cam to catch the 'breaking news' scene. Praveen, the hard-core realistic as always forbade her from taking snap. Small incident-- But I enjoyed !

4. Narayana's speech : Narayan's speech (followed by Manmohan's speech in english) about ILP and then on communication spiced up the occasion. He started with the glamour touch (USA origin) then filmy style (One day suddenly he called me up.....) and William Adams style body language during the communication speech. Nice !

5. 'What's your name' : It was a small break in between. I was sitting alone in the last bench. Suddenly, the two girls sitting in front of me, turned back to me and asked "What is your name?" Whoaa! I am finding it difficult to admit, but ....no! no! I was not under-estimating them.

LEARNINGs

I want to value the time I spent by writing a blog always by penning down the learnings, rather appropriately 'things for future'

1. A scholarship to worthy people can  really ignite his/her aspiration and notion towards life. This should be next target for 'Maheswar Nath memorial trust'.

2. I was thinking some fund-raising events for the library. But in a place like mine, where people think hundreds of time before spending Rs10, the concept of fund raising event for a non-profit trust have to be very very innovative. 2-3 ideas are clicking.

3. Touch of glamour+ humour+ body language should be there in a good speech.

4. You should take care of the basic needs of the students who are representing your NGO with scholarships.

5. Two breads with a bit of jam can make wonders for some occasions.

6. Of course, how to make good start to a diwali day !!

-Zing

Failure

FAILURE---- It is such a big cuff on the very existence of what you are. Many people used to tell about failures---‘you should take it lightly, its an opportunity in disguise, this has happened as God has stored something great for you in future including the famous quotation 'Failure teaches success'. All fine !! But let me tell you- when you are right there in front of the big guy- FAILURE, nothing of above will work out. It will just be a big zero all around.

Of course, by the word failure I meant only those which are preceded by lots of hard work, in fact 100% of your capacity (At least from your point of view). This is very dangerous too as this questions your capability. This is like a common question I used to ask people after annual examination results--'Is the reason for your poor percentage that you could not answer some questions in exam paper or you had answered all -but got bad marks'. The first one is OK because he knows where he lacks in his effort. But the second one is the most dangerous because you simply don't know 'what went wrong'.

Failure also provokes you to do things that are not in your concept of ideology. One has to be much much stronger to stick to ideology that he/she possesses. Failure is such a moment when all of your astitva factors will be shaken up heavily. We will feel like doing all those 'bad' but tempting things. I am using the word tempting as everything you are not doing by restricting is always used to be enticing. And, finally a mistake of one moment's temptation will make you grounded forever.

Why we get failed even after putting our 100%? Are we stretching ourselves beyond our limits at that time? Should we stop dreaming big after that failure is encountered?

Writing a blog may one component of the  recovery plan. Necessity of backups is a must while you are planning for anything big and risky. And, most important, you should learn how to kick-off emotion part out of everything that is happening in REAL and cruel world.

My Microsoft Recruitment Interview

I was viewing thru some ORKUT communities a few days back. Suddenly I noticed the forum where I posted my experiences after successfully attending the Microsoft interview during NIT Durgpur Campus placement, back in the first week of August, 2006.

That was my 3rd job interview of life. First Accenture--I was rejected in HR round; Second-- IBM and I got selected;Third--The Microsoft. With one job at hand, i was not really worried as such (Like IBM as After skipping 3 companies in a row, and not able to clear Accenture, You can imagine the tramendous pressure mounting on me before IBM). Interview went fine-----First time in my life I felt like 'I am a lucky guy'. And, today I am___ Inside Microsoft India Campus, building-2, Floor-2, Cubical Number-B2-010.

I am not going to write my experiences during teh interview,as I think that will be a small book in itself if I am going to compile all my feelings of that moments. Simply i am pasting the message I posted on the forum:

"Hi guys, MS(GDCI) was there at NITDGP on 3rd and 4th aug,taking all together 10 after 3 rounds of interview(in some cases 4),following a tuff written test.I am  mentioning here the interview qs, i remember. All the best...

1st interview:-1.How'd u like to asses a manjit nath for last 3 years.
2.Your major achievements till now.(lots of questions based on that)
3.swapping 2 variables wthout using third.
4.My robotix problem(IITG) and solution algorithm with varying cases
5.Conceptual questions on FD and Normalization(u have to know thoroughly..they'll go into depth,making a whole new schema and apply)
6.One question relating De Morgan's law,Robotix and normalization.
7.Some very basic 'C' concepts.
8.Suggestions for improving IE(a bit comparision wth google)
9.One morality testing question,very intersting but tricky--- If you find a bug just a few hours prior to teh go-live date which has been announced world-wide, what will be your take to handle that situation?
10.What are the moral valus of manjit and ways to prove

2nd interview;-
1.what is the highest no of lines of c code, u have written and..
2.Pointers(he'll go into depth..u have to know every little thing)
3.Enum(For 10 minutes he asked me only on enum)
4.pointer functions and many related qs.
5.My microsoft-project on shape recognition on .NET
6.OOPs conceptuals on friend,virtual,inheritence,protected(they wont ask wat are those...they'll ask u to implement in prog or algo)
7.Many qs on relational database,normalization,efficiency,redundancy(u have to know in detail..they'll ask u to implement)

3rd interview:-
I guess they already made up their mind to take me.He just asked me to describe my summer internship project(client-server one), my paper on FUZZY Maths(in detail,desribing all cases). and then simply ask me to fire questions at him.
........................................................
All the best.Just learn detail concept in ur curri-subjects, do 2 or more projects,paper also(if possible IEEE type).Be confident and importantly, be honest.Hope to see u at hyderabad,Microsoft campus."

That was real fun. The interviewer was able to make me so comfortable that I was not at all nervous or pressurized. Even Now i can see in MS, during interview, they will help you to be comfortable, will help you when you are stuck, will give you clue, But they will really really drill you to the deepest granular level.

Let me conclude by saying---If you are a tech savvy person, Microsoft is the best place you can think of in the whole industry. And, to get here, if you are a real techy person, none can stop you.Good Luck !!!