First 'big' decision post marriage - renting house in Delhi

I have been just thinking since morning today to write something on this autobiography blog. This is my last weekend in Delhi alone (after coming here on 1 Feb) before Nina joins me on Tuesday. 

The first big decision I took after marriage where I had to constantly think about my wife is the house renting. Although it is not such a big decision, still, I want to write down.

Yesterday, finally I zeroed down a 3bhk at Dwarka sector22, Pocket 1 in DDA SFS flat. Below are some of the reasons:

1) First I tried to decide the location. Vasant kunj and Dwarka were the only two places I considered. The newly constructed E1 was good, rent was also reasonable. However, the under-construction environment was not livable. Also, I didn't want to pressurize myself every morning on my mode of commutation to office. E2 goes with same logic, along with water issues. The points were applicable for Nangal Dewat with additional point of the initial dark stretch from main road and lack of habitants which is most important criteria for Nina's proposed school. Hence, I moved towards to Dwarka, although my manager also lives there and taking metro train (runs after 10 Min) would be daily activity. In Dwarka, sector 22/23 were at walkable distance from Sector-21 metro station and hence most preferred. The existence of CR, Mamu and Pragjyotishpur apartment in the nearby areas was plus point.  

2) Secondly to select the society, cost and Nina's requirement played major role. For Nina's proposed school, I need a place where visitors will be allowed without much restriction, hanging of hoardings etc will be allowed. For other societies and standalone flats it would not have been ideal from catching students and restriction in entry point of view. Cost is always there. For other private societies, the maintenance cost is around 3000/-, for the selected ones it 300/-. Consequently, lift is not there and flats are old styled. But, I can easily live with that.

3) For selecting types, for dance practice, one room is needed. Hence, there is no other option than 3 BHK. Additionally, I got this at the front of gate#1 of the society and this would be amazing from Nina's point of view.

4) On furnished/unfurnished, I was prepared to invest more than 1 lakh just to buy household items (bigger fridge, washing machine, sofa, bed, one split AC, mirror etc). Luckily, the house is furnished. It will help me in maintaining minimal buying and quick movement is there is any new development is life.

5) On number of floors, I tried avoiding top floor and wanted to keep within second floor. But I got this on 3rd floor (not top floor though)

6) On owners, I don't have any choice. The owner Col Rajdeep Singh- found to be a good guy only. 

7) On security, I requested for one month and the owner agreed. For brokerage, CR is negotiating for 20 days, let's see. Since the broker helped (not directly) in reducing from 22K to 21K, 1K to them for a year, banta hain.

8) Parking - I don't have a choice as I don't own a car now. Although there is no reserved parking at DDA, there are ample spaces for parking.

9) Lighting was an issue which Nina also highlighted. All the rooms in this flat (except kitchen) are well ventilated. 

10) Electricity bill was a big reason for not shifting to Gurgaon. I hope this will be checked in Dwarka.

Unwanted points: Will have to travel with manager on most occasions in a single metro, walk upto 3rd floor and no access to tersest, small balcony due to the store room, Smaller compared to other 3BHKs in the colony, DDA is considered 'oh' compared to the nearby private societies, absence of Mahipalpur type markets.

All the best - happy stay !

The important year of 2020

Probably for the first time, I have started writing this year review post before the year ended. It is now the early morning of the last day of 2020. It is not my excitement that is prompting me to write, but the fear of lack of time for writing this post in the coming days. [but I am finishing on 15 Jan only).

Corona and subsequent lockdown dominated the year. It changed the course of daily lives for every one of us. Since 22 March'20 I have been living at Agia. This is kind of unimaginable scenario. More than 8.4 Crore people has been affected (I am also one of them) and more than 18 Lakh people have died until now all over the world. With more than 2.02 Crore cases as on today, US is leading the count of infected cases, followed by India, Brazil and Russia respectively. The death toll leader US stands at 3.5 Lakh, followed by Brazil, India and Mexico as on today. 

However, the start of the year didn't look like the same. We started hearing the cases coming up in Wuhan, but didn't pay much attention. I remember my trip to Bangalore amidst lockdown type situation; my entry was restricted at multiple places. 

Big Lockdown projects:

1. House construction expense full calculation (total came to be apprx 77.2 Lakh)

2. BP Medicine becomes regular (until marriage got fixed)

3. Knowledge on Ramayana, Mahabharata, Avatars of Lord Vishnu (so intense that later shifted to Youtube)

4. New terms such as Tabligi Jamad, Covid-19, Lockdown, quarantine, vaccine, 

5. Searching the books with missing entries (started from missing 164 count), bringing new categories of souvenier with SOV series

6. Relief food packet distribution during lock-down

7. The books - কৰ্ণফুলিৰ পাৰত, পৰেশ বৰুৱাৰ সন্ধানত, মানৰ দেশত, মোৰো এটা সপোন আছে, The Difficulty of being Good (continued)

8. Reflecitng old memories, personalities (ref- 16 April page)

9. Renovating my room with racks, paints etc, then Maa's room as well

10. The article on reverse migrants published in News18 portal after multiple attempts

11. Helping Maa document her published works at one place

12. The LP School souvenier - this the the biggest project after Marriage and land. The long seating sessions at Drishti press, the fund raising efforts, article colelction and editing efforts, ISBN attempts, the last minute issues with paper quality, the different decisions, involving different people, taking and drafting the interviews and finally inauguration on 26 Sept

13. Buying the land at Ghy

14. First buy of an online course -Ninja Writing which is still to complete

15. Writing to Homen Borgohain Sir

16. The celebrity career sessions in Xomidhan, including Zubeen

17. The year with no appraisal or variable component

18. Moina learning the car driving

19. Morning cycling 

20. The reduced rent paid to pappu ji; in other words, paid premium without usage

21. Meeting ex ULFA of Goalpara district- Pranay Ray (Bapujinagar), Raktim Da (at library), Chaliha (Dhanubhanga)

22. Land

23. Marriage

Health:

1. High BP medicine became common during lockdown. With the different discussion at home, my BP went out of control. During June-July-Aug time I had regular tablets- Telmisartan 20 mg. and sometimes Amtaz. After marriage thing got settled, I stopped taking medicines regularly. 

2. Getting infected by Covid-19  is another health related update of the year. Although I had no symptoms, Dada had symptoms. The visits to the hospital for tests, pushing through the authorities for correct reporting on positive case, the medicines and the home isolations and finally getting negative - I would remember that ordeal. Although my condition didn't detoriate, the often heard stories of other patients definitely paused lot of questions. 

Marriage:

• Two posts have already been written - one for timelie, the other for decision making processes.
• I enjoyed the 'breaking the news' to different people aspect of this story and how different people reacted. There were both positive and negative expressions.
• The diary pages of Oct-Nov-Dec to be referred for the marriage preparation
• The letter to Nina- my first attempt to write a love letter
• Two chapters needed to be closed - Trish's seeing someone in Delhi to her engagement news and then cancellation of engagment news made a closing story. Bish's arrogancy cum cursing went to peak when i blocked her; she is terrible and closure was not good.

Finance:

1. Share market went down (Sensex at 28 K level) during March, I managed to buy a few stocks. I did mistake by selling Reliance and Sun Pharma (with profit though). Just on the next day of selling Reliance, the news of Facebook investing in Reliance surfaced and stock prices went zoo...om.

2. I did a total worth calculation on my birthday which exceeds 1 Cr. I was so happy. However, my expenditure started shooting up. In the month of November, my expenditure crossed around 13 lakh

Non-Profits:

1. Great work done with the revival of the Xomidhan bank account, activating the Internet Banking. I was happy like a kid when I figured out the child account issue with the Xomidhan Finance gmail ID. The CA audit of last 8-9 years are also done at only INR 3000/- (via Moina's friend and thanks to Kangkan). Also, managed one beneficiary for MNM Trust for ScholarAssist and total of 4 beneficiaries for the year. The annual reports are completed. Overall, it was an amazing year for Xomidhan. The only thing left was the renewal of the society registration.

2. I tried reviving BXX. On my initiative, two conf calls were conducted. However, there is not much movement after those calls. The diversity and other engagements of the group members, the Govt directive on renewing society registration, lack of teamwork are some of the reasons for this failed attempt of BXX revival.

3. From MNM Trust side, there is not much activity. Hosting Homen Borgohain Sir and Reeta Chowdhary baideu were two important moments. For the entire lockdown period, the library provided me the much needed space to sit with a calm head and work throughout. I can't thank myself enough for creating such a space. Many young kids such as Pushpa, Karna etc came in contact with me via the library during this period. Also, bought a new steel almirah from Agia, modified the wooden old almirag. On trustee level, inclusion of Rahul bhini as trustee was a big event of the year (on 26 July).

Travel:

It was worst year from travel point of view. I still have the 3 travel tickets pending with me. Below are the limited travels undertaken in the year:

1) Srinagar, Baramula , Tangmarg, Gulmarg, Mirgund (31 Jan) - official visit for monitoring

2) Bangalore Trip (13 March) - RPL monitoring, Binny, Madat da, NESA get together, Sri Sri ashram visit, 

3) The great/longest home visit 22 March

Webinars:

1. The BSG webinar initiated by Briar. I was well prepared, did demo session at office, Kaushik was there to take care of logistics. It was on 4 March and went well.

2. Best selling super power author _ I attended on 9 June with full concentration mode.

3. Why to study Love and Humour (by Ashoka University) on 8 April 2020

4. The webinar at SB Deorah college (278+ attendees) on 20 June; thanks to Dharmendra Da

5. The webinar at Jorhat College on initiation of Dr. Devabrata Sarmah Sir on 7 July

6. The webinar at KK Handique state open university on initiation of Dola Borkakoti , friend of Megha

7. The lecture at Moolya Foundation on public policy via Ankit on 5 Sept 

8. The ILO webinar on RPL on 14 October 

9. The Raijor Dol webinar on initiation of Kuldeep with Debanga and others

Important Dates:

1 January: The year started with a bang- a decade for Xomidhan

19 January: Bhogali Bihu celebration at Shrimanta Sankardeva Bhawan, Tapan's family first visit at Agia

29 January: Prog with Gaurav Gogoi and Deep Kalra; evening at M&E pub celebration

2 February: Election campaign for Manish Sishodia with Yash

15-16 February: Experimental weekend, not so great though

24 February: Broadband wifi installation at Mahipalpur home for mainly BSG seminar (4 March)

5 March: First time I wrote about Corona virus, little did I know about future

20-22 March: the decision making and finally arriving in Assam amidst Janata Curfew

31 March: Dada clearing promotion exam and PMKVY2.0 getting ended

23 May: Agia LP school project - first article collection date

4 June: My first visit to Nina's place, to Nichinta

6 June: Nabajyoti taking video interview at library 

14 June: Land measurement at Mirza

27 June: LP School, Rampur & Nichinta 

18 July: The pork treat at Badungduppa's new campus

29 August: Visit to Barpeta Kirtan ghar and three interviews

21 Sept: Day for resumption of skill training pan India on paper

2 Oct: Sualkuchi trip for buying cloths

10 Oct: Moina's furniture order day trip to Dhupdhara

23 Oct: Upanayan at Baitamari got accomplished today

26 Oct: The marriage date fixing ceremony at Nichinta

1 Nov: Bride's family's home darshan

14 Nov: First witness of elephant tragedy at Nichinta, went to visit, but returned from road

21 Nov: First trip with Nina to Ghy alone

24 Nov: Got the new phone Redmi 9 Prime 

2 Dec: Tested positive for Covid-19

15-16 Dec: Under the Sal tree festival cum registration happened today

27 Dec: Nina's launch of SattriyaCorner, বিয়াৰ সন্মত

Office:

WFH, no appraisal, MSP touching ceiling of irritation, SANKALP RPL, GKRA RPL, NE Cluster discussion, Geetanjli's sudden entry and silent exit, breaking the news to office people on 27 Nov

People: New, Revived, Death

1. New:  Heemarani Baruah (Assamese language researcher at DU),  Ankita Barooah (BSG aspirant, Xomidhan counselor later), Honey Pamnani(I ended up writing reco for her MPP at BSG) , Uddipta R. Baruah, Ajoy bhini

2. Death- father of Sunil Bihari Da, Mahesh engineer, Tulasi Peha, Juri's Mother- Chaya baideu, Tarun Gogoi

3. Revived- Anul K Nath, Manash Sarma,

4. Nina's side- Deepshikha, Anulekha, Pompi, Chitralekha, Naba, Shankar Da, Swarnasikha, 

5. In focus: Dhireswar Da's wife

--

In summary, I want to thank God for the exceptional year gifted to me. I hope the decisions I have taken in this year will prove to be most fruitful. 

The Marriage Story

This is the second blog-post on the marriage event. The last post was recorded for the decision purpose and this post is for the story with timeline. Kaha se suru karu? 

I have the vivid memory of Nina and her family living at Arup Da's place. I even visited her once to repair her computer while I was in NIT D.

Not sure how and when Maa started thinking about Nina. For me, the recent concrete memory is from the Under the Sal Tree Festival- 2018. After talking with Nina, then wearing a blue jeans and sweater, Nilutpal started teasing that we would become a nice couple. He ignited something which could lead to a long trail which nobody might had apprehended. 

Two things were rally attractive for Nina- her love for Sattriya and her height. Phone numbers were exchanged, but the first Whatsapp message was sent only on 19 May 2019, that too in response to a status shared by her. Then the birthday wish of the year 2019 (nobody of us had slightest clue that I would visit her on the next year birthday). Later conversation from July'19 onwards were mainly concentrated on her dance school, but with very long frequency- once in two months type.

The first major step was taken on 4 Oct'19 when I visited her school with Rahul Bhini. Later I came to know how my visit instigated the Agia people to make false affair news between us. After that meeting, based on my advice, she wrote about her current career aims and we hold a discussion at the library on 7 Oct. I liked her enthusiasm. I was at home for Durga puja; on Dasami day, I made her eat jalebi at Agia Puja Mandap. Who would have known that time that in next Dasami, my family would visit her home to fix the marriage date!

Whatsapp messages became more frequent. I can't recall my emotions for her that time. The emotional weakness was there, but wasn't really sure on next steps. In the last week of October'19, I also reviewed her application for JRF of Ministry of Culture.

I remember having lot of ocnversation on 23 Jan 2020 after she used the word depression to exprss her current status. I am anyway good in giving funda on such occasions, and found her a good listener as well.

Then couple of events kept the normal conversation alive- the Bhaona at Bapupara Xatra, the JNM renuion (23 Feb), I attending Sattriya programme in Delhi, fixing with Anshuman for Bihu programme in Chennai etc. 

The other event that was happening during this time without my knowledge was Maa's message to Bride's house via Jyotsna bai. The unusual suspense from her family side worried everyone at home. I got to know about this worriness from Pranjal when Moina told him(Pranjal) during the marriage of his youngest brother. Later Nina told me how she was handling a broken relationship during that time amidst the discomfort of all family members.

Then Covid-19 came and the lockdown happened. Since Pranjal knew about Nina, he kept pushing for marriage with or without Nina, but with immediate affect. The pressure at home also hiked so much that I agreed for opening an account at Shaadi.com, managed by mother. Will you believe - that was a paid account financed by Moina. I made myself free from all other considerations including the ones where existed any little thread. God too helped me doing all this as preparatory work for marriage. 

28 May'20 - I met Nina for the first time during lockdown. She informed that was her first stepping out of home and meeting an outsider, mainly inspired after reading my interview in Niyomiya Barta one more time. However, the get-up for this meeting since start of the lockdown was beautifully decorated with frequent whatsapp conversation, and sometimes, with telephonic calls. Couple of discussion topics - her Pratidin Times perfomance, the Lockdown ration distirution by PSC members, German Chancellor fellowship, her Nrittyanjali logo design with help of Joy Da, Jagriti yatra application had dominated our conversation before meeting. There was a long conversation on 9 April, where I started asking some futuristic questions. I almost made up my mind that I need to pursue this relationship. However, I was not sure why she didn't respond to Maa's call via Jyotsna bai. 

Then the month of June started- busy month in terms of events and decisions!

4 June'20 - a major step was taken as I and Moina went to visit her home on account of her birthday. It was a regular visit, my first visit to Nichinta after ages. I still wonder how I took the decision, visiting a full grown girl/boy on occasion of birthday is something I always avoid. However, this decision was different; at Nichinta, the reception was very 'gaoliya' and I loved that.

11 June'20 - First date with Nina on the banks of the mighty Brahmaputra. With the sun setting beyond the Naranarayan Xetu, I have the vivid memory of looking at her as my future partner. I found her perfect. The purpose of the outing was not date, but to test her driving skill. She did drive for some time and this factor made me super excited. Also she asked for my feedback (the critical ones) about her where I did a long lecture. I loved the way she accepted the critical feedback.

Nina's idea on Sattriya Corner and her efforts for the application of National Youth Award were praiseworthy. I was slowly left with no excuse for not asking her. I even thought I might pressurize her to come out of old & non-working relationship, of course, if the other person doesn't belong to Agia region. Like any typical boy, I tried to guess her night engagement by looking at the whatsup active time, status etc. In summary, I went back to the NIT days when I first started looking at girls.

27 June'20 - a very critical day to remember. We have been planning a visit to Badungduppa which happened today. I, Madan, Utpal and Nina went to the newly bought land of Badungduppa, completely drenched with rain on the way. First time I went to drop her to Nichinta. From Rampur to Nichinta, on the car, I asked her, "our relationship has come to a level now. The next step would be to enter into a new level if you are also fine". She got out of the car in front of her house, completely silent, didn't even wait for me to turn the car and say goodbye, and she went inside. I was super confused, perplexed.

The period from 27 June to 8 July was the worst - we had only 3-4 texts exchanged, that too forward message kinds stuffs. I got to know from Kamal (->Naba->Chitralekha) that her marriage has already fixed, the groom's family had also visited once; the guy is her long time love interest and non-Assamese. The news is also confirmed by Majoni Bai to Moina. 

All my dreams got collapsed for another time. I felt pity on myself for my foolishness of not enquiring this basic thing before started building my empire of dreams. I texted Pranjal about the closure of Nijara chapter. Kamal was comforting me; he thought this was my first big failure in life. Moina and Maa speeded up the search on Shaadi.com. I decided I would still help her with Sattriya Corner thing, but will not conduct the khana at Badungduppa. I can't be that great to feast with the girl who is romancing with someone else and I am organizing food for her. Although I was not even slightly interested, I decided to go out with her on 8 July.

8 July'20 -  Again on the bank of the mighty Brahmaputra, Nina opened up her life related to the marriage. I don't want to write what she said. The way I interpreted - a wrong decision was taken by her about a person and she is trying hard to change her life towards a new dawn. I kept thinking how much role I played in her decision towards a new dawn. Also, will it be actually possible for her to come out in true sense? What if the other person start behaving crazy? In either case, I thought a teantative 2-month long duration to understand her and generate the much needed 'love' between us, if possible. My broken empire of dreams again started the formation in bits and pieces. She also started helping me in the Agia LP School project. 

18 July'20 - The suspended feast at Badungduppa's new location got conducted today. Dreams were flying with wings. Moina and Mridusmita were also present. I was thinking how this would turn into love and then marriage.

20 July'20 - A wish got killed, but a new wish got born. First one is love marriage, the second one is arranged marriage. Achyut's father , Dharma khura, made a sudden appearance in our marriage story with a weapon in his arsenal which would make him look like the most important player. The weapon was the formal marriage proposal from Nijara's home side. This is quite surprising. Maa later informed that Dharma khura brought Nina's name around two years as well. 

Deliberation started at our home. All were super positive and excited. They were little confused about the non-responsiveness of Jyotsna bai event, but I was not. I only told Moina (on the way to Baikunthapuri) about my 8 July conversation with Nina. The failed attempts from Shaadi.com also made Maa & Dada frustrated. I told I have just started knowing her, will take some time. Family members didn't spare a minute before assuming that as my yes. Dharma khura had been informed as well.

24 July'20 - I requested Nina for a conversation on the Deuli-Lakhipur road. She confirmed her conversation with Dharma khura and willingness to go forward on this relationship. I put up the challenges of living a life with a complex person like me very clearly. The negative points dominated the discussion. Maybe I put up my negative points so cleverly that those didn't look like so negative as she had imagined. We also sat at Jangpara with Khitij Da and Ramen and had tea. On reaching home, she told about recording the points, I loved it.

31 July'20 - A separate blogpost is written on this.

9 August'20 - The first big step for marriages was taken today. Nina's parents came to our house for tea. Maa only had most conversation. I and Moina provided tea and snacks. Although we insisted marriage in 2020 itself, they pushed till 2021. One reason being the 2-year anniversary of Nrittyanjali. This was the first ever family persons' visit on marriage purpose.

11 August'20 - First outing beyond local area with Nina & others; initially with Moina and alone with Nina while returning. While dropping her, I sat at her home for sometime. 

29 August'20 - First outing beyond local area with Nina to Barpeta Xatra for her work with Sattriya Corner. Let it be the starting of a positive trend of me helping her work and she helping mine.

26 October'20 - On this Bijaya Dasami day, our marriage date has been formally decided to be 18 January 2020

Was that an exciting story? For public consumption- I don't think. But it is exciting for me since I am one of the main protagonists. Until today, there has not been a single negative point detected in the whole story. To make the the story public with a twist, a marriage invitation video has been prepared in the form of a story. Just now I confirmed the final version with Tariq, the video maker and I can't think of a better time to publish this post. 

The Marriage Decision

 Finally, I am writing this.

This post has a documentary purpose as well. I am still thinking whether I should separate the story and the decision into two separate posts. Hmm.....let's see. [I have decided to separate]

So finally Zing is getting married with Ms. Nijara Nath.

Decisions:

1) Family favourite: With the previous experience and my value system about family, I am 100% convinced about Nina ('Ni'jara 'Na'th) on this point. Maa has been initiating this for last 1-2 years, first by Jyotsna bai and then through Dharma khura. Knowing Dada's apprehension, he would be super happy with this. Moina is neutral, but, she has been enthusiasitc as well. On the otherhand, Nina would be able to handle Bou, Maa, Dada in the 'village' way they might be expecting. 

2) Being independent: This has been my primary requirement for choosing a bride. However, I have settled with the word 'potential to be independent' here. Nina has all the potential for being independent (she knows driving as well -:). With her MBA in HR she can easily get a job wherever I live irrespective of industry. Her interest and current engagement with Nrittyanjali may lead her to an entrepreneurship venture, which might not happen to me in this life. These two factors have successfully supressed the fact that she is not doing 'anything' now to earn a significant sum on regular basis. Her attitude for being independent is positive as well.

3) Look (read as height): Nina's height is a super aww factor. Although I would have expected some more flesh/muscle in the body, her height has overpowered all other aspiring aspects. Is the sexual orientation of the woman an issue? In that case, that would be an issue for me also. Ha Ha! Is she beautiful? Beauty has never been my priority and I find her prettier than many. But her height--baapre!

4) Age: I still remember how I avoided younger girls in the initial days. For last 3-4 years, I have taken the complete opposite stand. You may term me as selfish as I have become quite old now. The other logic is that those 'younger' girls are also old (read as mature) now. With Nina, the gap is of 9 years. She is in 27-28 range, which is exactly what I was expecting. 

5) Proximity to home: This is another factor that took 180 degree turn from my childhood imagination. I always wanted to marry someone from distant places. But recently, considering my stay outside home and the amount of work I bring each time I visit home, I started considering proximity to in-law's house as an aspiring component. Nina is again spot on in this case, except the fact that Nichinta is heavily influenced by human- elephant conflict.

6) Different profession : For last couple of years, I have been on this point. The main objective is to bring some spice, risk, enthusiasm in daily life, even if finance part need to be compromised. Classical dancing is amazing from that point of view. This is also a great extra-curriculur. I am just worried about the monetary part, but this is the 'risk' factor. The good points are the fall back option (MBA) and the potential (Dance studio, Arts fellowship). 

7) Minimum disruption - I am still not sure whether I wanted minimum disruption through marriage or not. Since I am not doing anything significant, a big disruption through marriage would also been welcome. With Nina, disruption would be minimal. We belong to the same place, similar economic conditions, same school, common acquitances, same middle class (sometimes aspiring) thinking. I might not need to put so much effort in handling her, which will allow me to concentrate on other things. And, I can continue with my middle class mentalities -:)

8) Family: If I term everything rosy rosy, it would not be fair. I have no complaints in Nina's family, but there might be negative points. First, I saluted her parents for not continuing with 3rd/4th child in search of 'boy' child after first two were girls. That brings so much of respect of the couple. Also, their profession of teaching commends respect from the society. The compatibility of Maa/Dada with her parents is a super positive factor while thinking about family. The fact that Nina is not single child is another comforting factor. Absence of any son might lead to some issues of taking care when they become really old. Nina's sister is not so much convenient in handling as per the initial reports recieved. Factors like economic condition, knowledge level, reachability, materialistic desires, relatives - there were scopes of improvements. But I always believe, seemingly negative points turn out to be positive points with time. I am hopeful. 

9) Virginity: I am just thinking should I even mention this point. Although I have never asked, it seems like Nina has not still engaged into any physical relationship. She does not know many things and from there I have inferred that. She was in relationship for several years, but, not sure about the extent of this. I don't know it would be a good point or bad. One thing is sure that I feel 'little' guilty for not being virgin before marriage for the first time after meeting her.

10) Cooking: Let's not even write this; I will continue my pathetic cooking with the ideology that food is not something to give importance in life. However comforting factor is that Nina has promised to take the lead in daily coooking

11) Respect for 'my time': Nina has heard my name since childhood. I can see the respect in her eyes for what I am and what I think and do. Hence, I expect she would not obstruct my freedom of 'my time'. The trust that I have a self life and need to spend time on my type of work - I am sure Nina would respect this. This maybe the call of my 'masculanity' by which I want Nina to give some kind of respect, leave me alone in some instances and help me in my endeavours. 

12)  Arranged Marriage: I always had a fantasy for arranged mariage. It might be because I never loved anyone wholeheartedly, or, my definition of proper love has always been the flowery-novel-princess type. Although I had been attached to a few females, I never thought of marrying anyone, except in 1/2 cases. My focus on career is another reason. So, in the whole duration, I thought God will arrange me a super perfect bride. As I become 32, I realized God is not coming to rescue me. Hence, I became more inclined to 'know someone and ask parents to talk' type mood. Marrying someone about whom I don't know anything was a fantasy earlier; the more I know about myself, my middle-class nature and egos, I think that will be a disaster. I must know the person for some time before marrying. Nina exactly fell into that category. With the intervention of Dharma khura the slow pace of possible love got instantly converted to arranged marriage in my case. Hance, you may term this either arranged or love.

Let me write this story in the next post!

Birthday Post amidst lockdown from library room

This is an unprecedented time; not sure whether I will witness something like this in my entire lifetime ever. The Corona virus crisis has hit all of us very badly. I am at home since 23 March 2020. The virus induced lockdown has brought disaster to the lives of many. But for me, the days have been eventful. Since today is my birthday, I am committed making it eventful, even though continuous rain is making it difficult.

All my previous birthday posts had a shadow of grim outlook about the future of my personal life. This one is different. This is again a byproduct of lockdown home stay. I should write about this in much details. I am positive for marriage, the other person is also positive, the families are positives as well. Apart from 1-2 negative forces, the external field is almost clear. The wait is now for the Covid-19 virus to slow down, me leaving for Delhi briefly and then come back within 2-3 months for the big day. I am writing these lines at 1-00 PM and might spend time with her in the afternoon.

The day started with me taking bath early and then reading অষ্টোত্তৰ শতনাম after a long time. Then I started my long pending wish of calculating my total value exercise; last time I did the exercise on 1 Jan,2018. I just completed the activity 15 min ago and happy to cross the Crorepati tag. I must confess that I have included the equity investments (whose value is fluctuating), maturity death amounts of the insurances, bad investment decisions and wrong lending decisions into the total count. This inclusion was kind of expected, since my aim was to touch 1 Cr by any means (like me manipulating myself). One more reason of doing this calculation today was the four big upcoming expenditures of my life- Mirza land, my marriage, Moina's marriage and buying a car. So, this peak in my value might resurface again after a decade, or might not even come back to this level ever. Will see! The other way of looking at it - kya ukhar liya maine Cr ko touch karke?

In other important events- Moina baked a cake. Bismita sent a cake through Kaushik in the morning. I have settled the expectation with her, still she keeps sending these gestures, which I don't appreciate much. Through Bhini, I brought two books on Sattriya that I need to gift to Nijara for her new initiative of Sattriyacorner.in. Maa will cook chicken at night. And,......

And, I will resume the Book project from today. In last 4 months, I didn't open this for a day. I am so sorry for this. Now that the LP School project is coming to an end, I must start this again. I feel so guilty for simply sitting on it.

It is 8-00 PM now. I spent the afternoon with the woman who is going to be the most important person very soon.We went to Samaguri and then to the bank of the Brahmaputra. The talk was concentrating on future mainly. I also informed her about Bismita as I was feeling guilty. I keep telling her my biggest fears and hope she will be able to understand and appreciate. This is quite a different birthday in that sense. 

I wish this were the last birthay as a bachelor. Maybe I will be writing blog with someone next year! On career and other front, I just want to hang on, maybe some good progress on the book.

Bless me God, also bless all the good people in the world !

First big investment of life - Buying land in Guwahati

So, finally the time has come to take a big investment decision of my human life and pen down my arguments. Buying flat or land has been on my mind for quite some time. In this Covid home stay, I explored a lot and took one decision first - not to make an immediate investment at Agia. Then Karuna Da's sudden call and things went ahead rapidly.

Why buying land at Agia is not considered:

1) There are already 5 plots of land in Agia - home (kheraj myadi), Lali pahar (kheraj myadi), Xonchapari (kheraj myadi), Samaguri (not known) and Agia College+ graveyard (not known). We have not been able to commercialize even one bit. If time and energy are there, please conentrate on making these existing plots of land profitable.

2) My impression at Agia does not suit owning land. I want to continue the same old impression to the local populous

3) If I have to make a comeback to Assam decision, starting something at Agia might not be very convenient

4) Prices of land at the sought after places at Agia are not affordable

5) Have not got any interesting deal as well.

6) The concept of quantum jump in profit is not possible at Agia. Even if I buy a land near NH @40 Lakh per bigh (eg- Miresh Sir's), the jump may be of 20 more lakh in 10 years.

With Karun Da inside NITS Mirza on 25 May

The events leading to Ghy land deal:

The main person concerned- Dr. Karuna Kalita. During Karuna Da's visit to Mahipalpur, I requested him to inform if he decids to buy any land near Guwahati. On 10 May 2020, he suddently informed availability of land near to the place he has recently bought. This is located near NITS Mirza and the main person concerned is Dr. Anup K Gogoi, younger brother of ex CM Tarun Gogoi. 

Dada and Karuna Da went to see the land on 14 May 2020. Dada did a live call, also sent a video made there. I was positive. After that, I started working on different parameters of my decision making which I will describe below. I paid a visit to the land on 25 May 2020 with Moina. Had a nice chat with Gogoi Sir. I continued my decision making efforts post my visit. Finally, on 27 May 2020 I decided to buy the land. I informed Gogoi Sir, talked with Mr. Bhagya Mohan Konwar, the original owner of the land and then transferred INR 1.5 Lakh to his account. On the next day, I have sat down to write a post on this.

How did I take the decision:

1) Price discovery: Talked with Pankaj Da (Pankaj Nath, doctor) who has recently bought land and built house in Mirza. He informed there are 2-3 huge fields between Mirza and Palashbari (area named Parlie) where several industrialists, politicians (including Himanta) have bought land. Around 2-3 years ago, the price was 25 lakhs per bigha. He told the area is good but genuinity of the owner must be verified. In my case, the price quoted for the land of Mr. Konwar was 50 Lakh per bigha. Then I talked with Manash who told the price should be around 10 Lakh per katha. Then I asked Bikas (Bikas Das, Cotton batchmate) who told land near NITS Mirza are quoted 25 Lakh per katha. I also wanted to check with Moina's friend in Mirza and Anu's husband; but later dropped the plan. Considering the above, I thought the price would be OK.

Discussion at the ploton first visit

2) Ownership of land: Although Karuna Da never told (he didn't know, I guess), Gogoi Sir informed that the land is in the name of Bhagya Konwar. This guy is bhagin of Sir and invested lot of money into NITS Mirza project after he earned huge money in Germany by working as contractor post lay-off. With this much information- name, studied in NERIST and currently in Wipro Bangalore, I found the guy in LinkedIN. I also found his ownership of the land in Dharitri software of Govt of Assam.

3) Status of land: Dharitri software is amazing; it gave me the first positive news about the Paschim Baragaon land. For this Mirza land, I knew the sub division(Ghy), circle(Palashbari), Mouza(Chayani) and village(Parlie), but the land and daag number were not available. Bhagya Konwar was owning 4 plots of land - some kheraj myadi and some nishfi kheraj. From Naba of Goalpara Circle office, I came to know kheraj myadi is what we call myadi pattah mati. I request Gogoi Sir for the daag and patta number and he sent me the permission letter issued for Karuna Da. That particular plot was showing nishfi kheraj in Dharitri, but it was kheraj myadi in the permission. That was positive sign considering the software was updated 5-6 years ago. 

4) Trust: In land deal, the trust is an important component. Karunda is amazingly honest and trustworthy. I had apprehension about Gogoi Sir for his entrepreneurial spirit and other affiliations. However, the conversation with him was amazing. The follow-up activities related to daag-patta information, background of Bhagya konwar gave me further confidence. Now, although I don't doubt his intention, I am just worried about bigger players (from other political ideologies maybe) who might even make Gogoi Sir a victim. But considering his experience with land including NITS Mirza, my worry can wait for now. I got inoformation through Bikas that NITS Mirza is now owned by NEMCARE group/foundation which had bought the building and everything at around 100 Cr; some people of NITS are also in the board. Gogoi Sir also confirmed the same later. So, information coming from different sources are not leading to anamolies. 

5) Location from Access point: The exact location and accessibility are two big factors in any land purchase. The current access to the land is through NITS Mirza, which is a big bottleneck. Gogoi Sir informed that they have the right of passage through NITS Mirza. There is a new road currently being built; construction is on hold for Covid-crisis though. The internal road in and around the plot to be developed. I and Moina, while coming back from Guwahati, wanted to explore the village road from back side of the land. We took Dharapaur->Palashbari->SunPharma office->Mirza Chown route. Before reaching Mirza chowk we took the left turn looking at Google map to Barkuchi Colony (Sutarpara) road, then from back side of the land we drove to Barkuchi, then Udiyama Sangha, Banghi Gopal Gusai ghar etc finally arrived at the NH37, just opposite to the road through which Karuna Da's second plot can be reached. We observed on the back side of the plot where the proposed school will come, just near to my plot, there are people's houses; there is no way to connect to the plot directly. If you go bit forward, there is small gap, amidstlot of bamboo trees. I have requested Gogoi sir to open a road through that passage; he informed that the prices are too high and it will be wiser if we could include them in the school project.

6) Payment arrangment: On pricing, I was told 10 Lakh per katha and two katha of minimum land must be purchased. I just asked 'paisa tu karuna Dai koise, kiba...', He didn't let me finish, which made me understood 10 lakh is non-negotiable. He also said that I need to pay for registration, which might come apprx 30K. While I was calculating in my mind how I can get around 21 Lakh amount, Gogoi sir told payments can be made in phases. I need to transfer 1.5 lakh to Bhagya Konwar to initiate the permission process. After that, during registration, some money needs to be transferred. Wishfully, I should complete the whole transaction within 6 Months, which is again flexible. I was pleased to hear this. More than money, it shows the trust and the promise for long term association.

7) Future prospect of the land: This is very important parameter if you are not thinking of immediate consumption of the land. Gogoi Sir is passionate about setting up a school just beside the designated plot. If that happends, the issues related to access road and valuation of the land will no longer be there. As informed by Gogoi Sir, his daughter had studied Montessori education in US and he wants to start the school for her if she does not decide to go back to US. Talking with his wife, I understood the passion both of them possessed for education. He even informed, taking Karuna Da and others are part of his plan to have good people to help him with the school. I mentioned about Nischal in between. I got hugely impressed by the fact that two of my dreams-- visit to Southeast Asia via road through Morey and sailing through the Brahmaputra are already accomplished by Sir. lastly, with NITS Mirza no more, Gogoi Sir is expected to put all his energy on the school project.

8) Secluded but important location: In case, I decide to build house for staying, I prefer location with wide open areas. This particular location is like that. With public instt such as NITS Mirza and the (proposed) school nearby, there will be ample amount of open space, besides increasing the importance of the place. One side of my plot has an deep agricultural land which might take years to fill up and I may enjoy the openess of the place.This is a positive point.

On the way to the plot

9) Maintainance issue: One of the reasons why the Paschim Baragaon land is remaining the way it is, there is no one to engage on regular basis. Any real estate investment far from work/native place always faces this this challenge. In this context, I foresee four positive points in this plot of land-- 1) this land is situated on the way from Agia to Ghy, so frequent visits may be made, 2) since Anup Gogoi Sir is living in that very location, he will take care of the land, 3) since Karuna Da also has a plot where he wants to settle in future and he is unlikely to go out of Assam until retirement, there is always one trustworthy person to take care of the land, 4) The other owners of the four available plots- Karuna Da's friend, the BRPL employee who stays in the same flat of Gogoi Sir are also staying nearby and will be willing to develop the land in future.

10) Need to burn cash: For last 2-3 years, I have been writing my intention to reduce my liquid cash. With 16-17 Lakh liquid money in Savings Bank account, I am just acting as a fool. This cash must go into something for future. And with no marriage on card in near future, I believe this is the perfect event/time.

Risks: Although I have written 10 positive points above, I see four risks at this point of time; for two I have mitigation strategies.

Permission letter 

1) Price: Am I paying more than market rate to a plot which does not have approach road currently and maybe available @ 30Lakh per Bigha(Ref- Pankaj Da)? Although the land is kheraj myadi, it is Agriculture land. 

Mitigation- Even if I paid bit more (4-5 Lakhs), the land is an asset with continuous inflation. For conversion from Agri to bhita, it would be a comparatively easy affair since nearby lands are already converted. 

2) Approach Rasta: This is a big issue in the land. Current passage via NITS Mirza is not sutainable at all. For this I can't do anything and only Gogoi Sir can do. May God bless him with the proposed plan of school and roads are constructed. In my attempt to puch him-  I have already started learning Montessori, talked with Nischal and promised Gogoi Sir to introduce with Nischal.

3) Too much dependancy on Gogoi Sir: Since I have no prior experince of buying land (only have the bitter experience of Deuta's experience of Paschim Baragaon land), I done't take over-dependancy on a single person as a good sign. Karuna Da is quite oblivious of this fact and that is again a risk. If something happens to Sir (khuda na kare), I am not sure who would push his dream of the school. I have no mitigation strategy on this. As time goes by, I need to find something.

4) Is it right time considering future prospect of association with Uday Da: Post recent association with Uday Da through Rajib Da, I started exploring about signing a property deal through him. I even discussed this with Pranjal. Considering his big plans of university, he might be willing to have land/flat available for purchase. 

Mitigation: I may try with Pranjal  later if the deal is affordable.Dada/Moina might be having plans and try if some nice opportunity comes up.

Financial Year Review : 2019-20

I am writing this post sitting at home by doing work from home amidst the Covid-19 outbreak lock-down in the entire world. There is an unprecedented situation outside with the whole world coming to a standstill. There are many positive points as well for people like me, but for vast majority of the population, this is not good.

Thoughts on last year:
1) There was not any extra ordinary event or decision. Things went just fine without any good/bad.
2) Failed endeavours of the year included any investment in real estate. I put some efforts for buying land/flat, but nothing materialized. Closest ones were via Deva Da.
3) My total outstanding 'to be received' loan amounts are below, along-with NPA
   A) Deben Moha -  INR 70,000/- (No interest loan)
   B) Dada -              INR 3,38,231/- (5% SI)
   C) Tapan -             INR 90,934/- (7% SI)
   D) Monu K S -      INR 520/- (NPA)
   E) Aakarshan -      INR 400/- (NPA)
   F) Trish D -           INR 3000/- (No interest loan)
   G) Pranjal K -       INR 50,000/- (2% monthly SI is not considered here for ease)
            Total -          INR 5,53,085/- 

4) Total investment in equity via Sharekhan is 1.25 lakh for the last year. My total investment in Sharkhan stands at 6,05,000 now. Because of the pandemic, my portfolio is at 45% loss as on today's market.
6) The income still is mostly concentrated on salary (around 84%). Since I have a huge amount in Savings account (mainly for marriage and Car purpose), I must try to have better interest rate. Also, considering the liquidity/bankruptcy issues with banks, it is better to have money spread across several bank's accounts
7) The income from Market (only dividend as I didn't sell single equity last FY) has only increased by Rs 2000 around.
8) The income from PPF interest has crossed 50K which has been my target and that's why I transferred 1.4 Lakh on the very first day of this (2019-20) FY.
9) Since I didn't open any new FDs (only renewed) and the FD interest rates are continuously falling, FD interest earning should decrease. However, there is an increase of a few thousands which might be because of the spillover FDs from last FY that got matured in this FY.
10) I bailed out Dada, Moha, Trish and Tapan and I felt good on all those accounts. What's the purpose of money if you can't help others (and also earn interests  in a rate greater than that of Savings accounts)?
11) The mixing of Xomidhan money has been a pending issue and finally I was able to sort the matter. The internet banking for Xomidhan has been activated. I am just waiting for a physical paper and we are good to go. This is such a relief and I will be able to differentiate both the accounts now.
12) I wanted to calculate the total cash used in the FY. But in Dec-Jan, I didn't calculate the month-end cash flow and hence calculating now will be cumbersome.
13) Keeping upkeep (that includes habitat) expenses below 10% is credible. Although people might think me weird for staying in Mahipalpur
14) Since I decided, there will not be addition of new FDs, I must list down my current FDs as on today (9 April 2020)

A) INR 1,00,000 - ICICI - 7.0% - 24/06/19 to 18/07/20
B) INR 1,00,000 - ICICI - 7.5% - 31/01/19 to 12/03/20
C) INR 1,00,000 - ICICI - 6.35% - 30/11/19 to 02/12/20
D) INR 2,66,703 - ICICI - 7.10% - 10/04/19 to 04/05/20
E) INR 2,00,000 - ICICI - 7.5% - 04/06/19 to 04/07/21
F) INR 5,50,000 - ICICI - 6.85% - 02/11/19 to 02/06/21
G) INR 75,000 - SBI - 6.0% 01/03/20 to 26/03/21
H) INR 90,000 - SBI - 5.7% - 29/03/20 to 09/04/21
I) INR 60,000 - M&M Finance - 9.00%- 18/03/19 to 18/12/21
J) INR 2,00,000 - In MAA's bank account
K) INR 1,00,000 - In MOINA's bank account
                     Total --- 18,41,703/-

15) Liquid Money (as on 31 March 2020)
A) ICICI Savings Bank - 17,00,384/-
B) Cash in Hand -                   1,677/-
C) SBI -                             2,77,086/-     
                     Total --- 19,79,147/-
16) The entries in the 'Other' section of Inflow table consists of interest amount by Pranjal, tax refund, annual interest of PPF account and some unknown credit with APY(?) mentioned.

Inflow Table:

	Salary+Food wallet	Reimbursement (Office, others)	Loan Repay(includes EMI interest)	Interest (Savings Account)	Interest (FDs, PPFs)	Market (Equity, MF)	Others	Total
April	132394	7818	1000			617		141829
May	131756		20000			50		151806
June	132393			13105	5780			151278
July			14418			433	6500	79851
August	493346	4000	400			1170		498916
Sept	141105	11500		14709		661	8110	176085
Oct	141106	1200	10300		36711	276	1000	190593
Nov	141106	1800	3971			193		147070
Dec	141105			16616	7498	593		165812
Jan	141106		33673			26	5000	179805
Feb	124235	2000	8673		7443	909		143260
Mar	170485		25673	14715	9692	7691.02	52070	280326.02
Total	1890137	28318	118108	59145	67124	12619.02	72680	2306631.02
Pct%	81.94%	1.23%	5.12%	2.56%	2.91%	0.55%	3.15%

Outflow table: 

	Upkeep	Food	Personal	Family	Investment	Transport	Travel	Gift	Recreation	Tax	Loan	Total
April	14471	4859	480	1820	149447	0	39641	8438	520	18969	1520	240165
May	16171	6507	542	1470	54447	205	330	1190	2521	18969	0	102352
June	15211	2398	2212	1220	25657	2327	381	2747	1141	18969	10917	83180
July	15281	1922	50	2062	173703	620	5838	3231	0	121845	3971	328523
August	16377	3605	0	1004	52167	571	1000	10000	1117	31908	10000	127749
Sept	15591	3070	1366	3461	12167	740	10501	2500	2331	23408	3400	78535
Oct	16020	3241	0	46018	22167	710	23508	500	2690	23407	300	138561
Nov	15847	3018	4365	743	42256	1416	0	1180	4858	23407	73500	170590
Dec	17956	833	4436	132	83645	747	28324	6128	605	0	345024	487830
Jan	15548	4748	104	745	33630	1263	2360	107	1050	0	5000	64555
Feb	18130	2605	500	156	44853	1105	1025	12500	6927	7592	0	95393
Mar	15541	2386	0	2125	109853	1388	21753	0	3104	9342	0
	192144	39192	14055	60956	803992	11092	134661	48521	26864	297816	453632	1917433
Percentage	8.33%	1.70%	0.61%	2.64%	34.86%	0.48%	5.84%	2.10%	1.16%	12.91%	19.67%	83.13%

Thoughts for next year:
1) Since the internet banking of the Xomidhan account is 'almost' ready, I must transfer all Xomidhan money to the new account and de-clutter my Savings accounts.
2) Be a trader, not a long term investor. Please sell some of your stocks and your market earning should be 2-3 % of entire earning.
3) No more FDs please - stick to previous promise.
4) Diversify liquid money into multiple savings account, importantly in banks that offer higher interest rates for Saving Accounts and has lesser risk of going bankrupt unlike Yes Bank (say)
5) Try to have a real estate investment. Better if it comes with a provision of home loan that will give me opportunity to save income tax
6) Talk to a CA if I am missing out any component/strategy for saving tax.
7) Increase expenditure - don't be a middle class. Robert Kiosaki is fine. But investing on health, cloth, happiness, knowledge is a better idea only.


NB: I completed this post on 7 April night with calculation of all FDs and Liquid money, plus the plans for new year. But I could not publish as the insertion of the two tables gave HTML error. I continued the effort on 8 April; while doing refresh in between, everything vanishes. That was effort of 3 hours at least. How crap am I !