13rd March 2015 - Frustrating time and currupted mind

I am in a heavily frustrating state. I returned home on 8th September'14 and till today I am unemployed. The unemployment part was not much worrisome when I was engaged in the volunteering work. But now that the livelihood project is over, I am completely jobless & thoughtless.
The pending result from Twitter is the biggest obstacle for taking any concrete decision. There is absolutely no way to find out what is going on the other side. This is making me restless. Yesterday, I sent an email to Colin directly without knowing whether that was a right thing to do or not.
What if Twitter does not give a good news? As days are progressing, I am increasingly getting apprehensive about joining CFBI. My interest level has gone down; also, I am unsure whether the offer is still open. Yesterday, I almost decided to send an email to the VC of Jindal University (haven't sent until now). Sending email to Grace, Inquiring possibilities with Prateek Hajela, meeting Prodyut Bora in Guwahati are some other options I am weighing out at this point of time.

Amidst all the chaos, my mind has gone terribly wrong. I have realized the typical feeling of 'not going outside Assam' has slowly come to my mind and I am pressing hard to do away with this kind of emotions. The zeal to change the world has reached the rock bottom. The other day I spent 3 hours watching some C-grade movie in order to divert my disturbed mind; I felt terribly sorry after that. Writing- I have not been able to write a single piece in last 5 months. In fact, I can't really concentrate beyond 10 minutes. This blog-post is the first 'attention-requiring' thing that I am doing after a long time. I am slowly becoming an average thinker. Help me God! This is not because of the people around me (to an extent yes) , but my 'waiting mode' has contributed the most for degrading my thought process.

I am in terrible mental pain. I want to do justice to the Oxford degree; I also have to be careful of not committing the same mistakes as earlier. Last week, the email from BSG inquiring my whereabouts made me sad. I have postponed several Skype calls with BSG people because I have nothing to share with them. Maybe I am running away from all the people who ask tough (read as appropriate) questions.

Show me light God ! This is not what I imagined while taking the decision to come back to India. I also remember promising you that I won't need God's favor for my post-Oxford endeavors. But here I am again. I just need an entry point please !

Why this Blog?

Writing an autobiography has been on my mind for last couple of years. If I do not publish the words written in my diaries since class VI, then I would do injustice to the very habit of diary writing- this is how I position myself in the mental debate of whether or not penning down my autobiography.
My frequent visit to the Oxford center for Life-Writing at Wolfson College, the personality cult of Homen Borgohain with his superbly written autobiographies, the published diaries of Bhabendra Nath Saikia, the visit to Anne Frank's hidden place in Amsterdam, and most importantly the closure of my secret blog on my failed (fortunately!) MBA voyage have earnestly prompted me to initiate 'something' towards a future autobiography. I have also realized that I am not critically analyzing myself these days as there is not a 'store-house' to safely keep my written analysis.
Hence, I decided to start another secret and unpublished web blog, and 'For An Autobiography' is just the output. Though the decision was taken during Oxford days accompanied by a few writeup, the on-internet creation of the blog took some time. 
I must mention this blog itself should not be considered an autobiography; rather this will assist me whenever I would sit down to start writing an autobiography (hopefully) in future. I will use the 'Labels' effectively from beginning as this blog is expected to have many posts. Though I have not been able to sketch a rough structure of my autobiography (even after heavy research), proper structuring of the blog will ease my future effort.

All the best dear future autobiographer Manjit Nath.

Regards,
Manjit
6th March, 2015

A memorable Diwali morning

Diwali @ Hyderabad has always been memorable for me for different reasons. First time it was more of romantic reason, last time it was the darkest- after calling up 19 people in hyderabad I found no one free for me, ended up the night watching Hannibal 1 & 2. This time I did not give a second thought when Nischal called me up to go to Kukatpally , Rickshaw Puller Colony Govt School to meet the 11 students selected for ILP + Premalayam scholarship program. Manmohan and Narayana were accmpanying us.

It is often said you have to be good listener to be a good speaker. True, but  when you’re sitting with people talking in an unknown language you can do your best if you act as a perfect observer. I always enjoy observing people even when I am sitting with friends in a cock-tail party amidst a heated argument. Whao ! it is fun as well as knowledge gainer. I want to pen down a few things I observed this diwali morning.

1. Speech of the Premalayam lady : She was simply awesome. The way she included all the points in her speech, much appreciated. It is not always about doing good works, how you communicate it out with all details, rules and pre-conditions-- that clearly depicts the whole purpose.

2. The story of the muslim girl : One of the selected candidates was describing her background and why she needs the scholarship. She has been fighting with her parents and relatives who were against her study. But she stands alone, earning money by teaching here and there for her own study. "I want to be a teacher, and when I will have some money I will start organization like you to help poor students like myself"...... That was enough to draw tears from everyone's eyes.

3. Praveen's  anti-journalism : When the above girl was crying one lady from Premalayam (Must be an India TV and AAj-Tak fan) opened her digi-cam to catch the 'breaking news' scene. Praveen, the hard-core realistic as always forbade her from taking snap. Small incident-- But I enjoyed !

4. Narayana's speech : Narayan's speech (followed by Manmohan's speech in english) about ILP and then on communication spiced up the occasion. He started with the glamour touch (USA origin) then filmy style (One day suddenly he called me up.....) and William Adams style body language during the communication speech. Nice !

5. 'What's your name' : It was a small break in between. I was sitting alone in the last bench. Suddenly, the two girls sitting in front of me, turned back to me and asked "What is your name?" Whoaa! I am finding it difficult to admit, but ....no! no! I was not under-estimating them.

LEARNINGs

I want to value the time I spent by writing a blog always by penning down the learnings, rather appropriately 'things for future'

1. A scholarship to worthy people can  really ignite his/her aspiration and notion towards life. This should be next target for 'Maheswar Nath memorial trust'.

2. I was thinking some fund-raising events for the library. But in a place like mine, where people think hundreds of time before spending Rs10, the concept of fund raising event for a non-profit trust have to be very very innovative. 2-3 ideas are clicking.

3. Touch of glamour+ humour+ body language should be there in a good speech.

4. You should take care of the basic needs of the students who are representing your NGO with scholarships.

5. Two breads with a bit of jam can make wonders for some occasions.

6. Of course, how to make good start to a diwali day !!

-Zing

Failure

FAILURE---- It is such a big cuff on the very existence of what you are. Many people used to tell about failures---‘you should take it lightly, its an opportunity in disguise, this has happened as God has stored something great for you in future including the famous quotation 'Failure teaches success'. All fine !! But let me tell you- when you are right there in front of the big guy- FAILURE, nothing of above will work out. It will just be a big zero all around.

Of course, by the word failure I meant only those which are preceded by lots of hard work, in fact 100% of your capacity (At least from your point of view). This is very dangerous too as this questions your capability. This is like a common question I used to ask people after annual examination results--'Is the reason for your poor percentage that you could not answer some questions in exam paper or you had answered all -but got bad marks'. The first one is OK because he knows where he lacks in his effort. But the second one is the most dangerous because you simply don't know 'what went wrong'.

Failure also provokes you to do things that are not in your concept of ideology. One has to be much much stronger to stick to ideology that he/she possesses. Failure is such a moment when all of your astitva factors will be shaken up heavily. We will feel like doing all those 'bad' but tempting things. I am using the word tempting as everything you are not doing by restricting is always used to be enticing. And, finally a mistake of one moment's temptation will make you grounded forever.

Why we get failed even after putting our 100%? Are we stretching ourselves beyond our limits at that time? Should we stop dreaming big after that failure is encountered?

Writing a blog may one component of the  recovery plan. Necessity of backups is a must while you are planning for anything big and risky. And, most important, you should learn how to kick-off emotion part out of everything that is happening in REAL and cruel world.

My Microsoft Recruitment Interview

I was viewing thru some ORKUT communities a few days back. Suddenly I noticed the forum where I posted my experiences after successfully attending the Microsoft interview during NIT Durgpur Campus placement, back in the first week of August, 2006.

That was my 3rd job interview of life. First Accenture--I was rejected in HR round; Second-- IBM and I got selected;Third--The Microsoft. With one job at hand, i was not really worried as such (Like IBM as After skipping 3 companies in a row, and not able to clear Accenture, You can imagine the tramendous pressure mounting on me before IBM). Interview went fine-----First time in my life I felt like 'I am a lucky guy'. And, today I am___ Inside Microsoft India Campus, building-2, Floor-2, Cubical Number-B2-010.

I am not going to write my experiences during teh interview,as I think that will be a small book in itself if I am going to compile all my feelings of that moments. Simply i am pasting the message I posted on the forum:

"Hi guys, MS(GDCI) was there at NITDGP on 3rd and 4th aug,taking all together 10 after 3 rounds of interview(in some cases 4),following a tuff written test.I am  mentioning here the interview qs, i remember. All the best...

1st interview:-1.How'd u like to asses a manjit nath for last 3 years.
2.Your major achievements till now.(lots of questions based on that)
3.swapping 2 variables wthout using third.
4.My robotix problem(IITG) and solution algorithm with varying cases
5.Conceptual questions on FD and Normalization(u have to know thoroughly..they'll go into depth,making a whole new schema and apply)
6.One question relating De Morgan's law,Robotix and normalization.
7.Some very basic 'C' concepts.
8.Suggestions for improving IE(a bit comparision wth google)
9.One morality testing question,very intersting but tricky--- If you find a bug just a few hours prior to teh go-live date which has been announced world-wide, what will be your take to handle that situation?
10.What are the moral valus of manjit and ways to prove

2nd interview;-
1.what is the highest no of lines of c code, u have written and..
2.Pointers(he'll go into depth..u have to know every little thing)
3.Enum(For 10 minutes he asked me only on enum)
4.pointer functions and many related qs.
5.My microsoft-project on shape recognition on .NET
6.OOPs conceptuals on friend,virtual,inheritence,protected(they wont ask wat are those...they'll ask u to implement in prog or algo)
7.Many qs on relational database,normalization,efficiency,redundancy(u have to know in detail..they'll ask u to implement)

3rd interview:-
I guess they already made up their mind to take me.He just asked me to describe my summer internship project(client-server one), my paper on FUZZY Maths(in detail,desribing all cases). and then simply ask me to fire questions at him.
........................................................
All the best.Just learn detail concept in ur curri-subjects, do 2 or more projects,paper also(if possible IEEE type).Be confident and importantly, be honest.Hope to see u at hyderabad,Microsoft campus."

That was real fun. The interviewer was able to make me so comfortable that I was not at all nervous or pressurized. Even Now i can see in MS, during interview, they will help you to be comfortable, will help you when you are stuck, will give you clue, But they will really really drill you to the deepest granular level.

Let me conclude by saying---If you are a tech savvy person, Microsoft is the best place you can think of in the whole industry. And, to get here, if you are a real techy person, none can stop you.Good Luck !!!

A few things I learnt in 2008

Today is the beginning of a new year as per english calender. We used to think so much about this that the whole concept has got changed over the time. Therefore, today is not just an ordinary day. In my case, it gives me a 'bahana' to recollect last year and plan for coming days (Once more, I used to do everyday though!).

I learnt a lot last year. That was not a great year,in fact it was not not at all a good year. Let me pen down a few points:

1. Professionalism:: If you are working for a private company where increment is performance based, you are bound to face politics. There may be some appropriate word for politics, not coming to my mind now. I am really not sure what's the best way to do it. From my point of view I believe 2 kind of people will survive here---One who extremely brilliant, other who can play politics. Many a times it will screw up your relationship with your peers. You will feel like though they are laughing, that is only half-hearted. Many a times you will get frustrated for the money factor. Your concerned point will be mainly with the second kind of people, you know that you are better deserved than him/her. Also, diversity or girl factor is a big big concern. You can't fight with this problems in a lower-level role. But the fact that you know these things and ready to face, will not make you frustrated. After that you will be able to construct your own solutions for this kind of scenarios, like i have done for myself. I learnt a lot about MNC professional life, kahani abhi baaki hain mere dost, kyuki ending is not happening as per my wish till now.

2. Choosing Partner:: Some people used to say you should roam/be with those people like whom you want to be. For my view, I think what matters most is your thinking frequency in resonance or not. Particularly when the case is sharing minimum 5-6 hours per day this is very important. There might be some very good girl/boy, but the environment where he/she brought up is entirly different from yours. In that case there won't be resonance anytime. Things won't work out and the whole affair will create a lot of mental tensions in your life. So keep your home/personal life simple and the way you were brought up by your parents.

3. NGO:: I learnt a lot about many NGOs this year. So many things fascinated me--How and why people are doing something for others? In my state i hardly found this, but here I am surprised to see people's enthu to work for others. I am not denying the dark side if it, but still...There are some good people in this world. When I look and read about them, I feel so good. I get inspired to work for others, to bring one smile in the face of someone whom I never knew. I collected many info about ILP, UNO Online Volunteering, HRF, RoomToRead, CRY etc. I am having good impression about the NGO concept. I am sure many people are trying to do something extra, something for general people....I definitely urge to get acquinted with the NGO concept. It can opne so many information/doors for you. I can apprehend in my future something big will happen thru an NGO concept.

4. DEATH:: I used to tell people you will come to know you are becoming adult when your own people will start leaving you for good. Death is a huge Shift+Delete. It destroys all the plan that you and your family have. You need to make a whole new start with the absence of someone...It is very difficult unless you face it. A big emptiness will come into your life, you will keep on trying to fill that up. Life never stops though, you will bring change into your plans, you will bring new people, you will bring new processes into your system--the cart will again start. This time it became more strong emotionally.

5. LOVE:: A girl with long hairs, who used to read novels, who is smart like......, who ...... All my criterias got demolished suddenly. My concept on love and girls has got changed suddenly. Now-a-days I don't think and expect anything. When some movie(mostly hindi) or novel again describes that concept, I feel so angry and irritated. All false--I scream often. BUt still am confused sometimes--my that feeling was immature or the current one? In either case, the fact that i am able to judge the two scenarios I have started thinking myself mature and adult. Though the true lies in the fact--the concept girl was the one whom I always loved.

6. Finance:: I learnt a lot financial stuffs this year and I do think each and every person should know little about the terms finance and economy. Internet is the one tool who can help anyone for the same. But you need to take risk and should have interest in Money. Equity trading, Mutual Fund, ULIP , Commodity trading (I lost INR 9500), Referrel Marketing(Very Bad- I lost INR 35000), Liquid Cash and the terms like GDP, CRR, Inflation, Sensex etc etc....people should know all this. You should plan your spendings, savings and there should be regular audits on your plannings. This things will really help you.

7. Dream High::  If you dream high and keep hardwork as your partner, believe me, nothing can stop you. I will write this story when I will think the story gets over. And, I promise, the day will come soon.

Wish all of you an extra 2009. may you do something this time, which you never did till now.

-Zing-

Purpose of a blog

I have come acrossed the question often on which topic you write blogs. previously I did not bother this question much. But a few days back, someone gave some nice funda about the purpose of blogging, vision, lakshya etc. I too think---Blog can be a way to publish some of the great things that you are doing. Now what i am doing-----Well So many good things. I am not sure what might be a vision of my blogs__ also, I won't concentrate much on that thinkning. But what i can do is to publish some of my learnings, which might help a few other people. E-Goverment is one of them, which I am reading currently. A detail explanation of GITA, at least how much I understood, my Proposed LIBRARY project are some of the things, i will start writing.

I will be more frequent on blogging, I promise.