How am I doing?

How and what am I doing ? Its been almost two months there has not been a single entry in this blog.What has been keeping me busy, apart from laziness?

You should always spend sometime of your day
 with kids and adults; with Mr. Kusum Bora

On personal aspiration level, there has been status quo since the Sarbananda proposal didn't go through. I didn't open that chapter and completely removed the idea of working with Assam Government for now. I was in catch 22 position for applying for the book writing fellowship & Global Leadership Fellow of WEF- ended up applying nowhere. Just recently I applied for NITI Aayog consultant position. I have been thinking of meeting Gaurav Gogoi and Ajmal, but have not made any efforts until now. I have not written anything in last couple of months, except the paper for ICEGOV- God knows whether that would be selected or not. In 'better' words, my aspiration space is largely empty.

Office- the university workshops are keeping me busy, super busy. I learnt a lot about people management, organising event and overall, I am satisfied with the experience. But for last several days because of IITF and Agra workshop debacle, the focus on the workshop has been removed and I am forced to invest time in other stuff. DigiSevak is almost ready and we might launch this during IITF. Still, I go to office at 8-15 AM and come back at 5-30 PM. These days often I think I am not doing anything extra other than a middle class office-goer. Well, the shift to Secretary office is still pending; I meet the Secretary again a few days back and she reiterated her wish to form a 'high level' team. If that goes through, I have already decided to leave A&C. Particularly, the events during this IITF has taught me a lesson.

Maa's new room with borrowed money from Moha

In case of relationships, family in Assam is doing good. I travelled quite frequently in last two months and visited both Agia and Jorhat. Maa has taken debt of 1 Lac from Deben Moha and that has made me sad. We should have stopped home construction work if we couldn't afford. But Maa and Dada had different logic. On other relationship front, I am still undecided. I did an experiment a few days back and the outcome made me even more confused. Mridul, Satyakam, Kailash and Pranjal - all are close to me and getting married. This would surely impact my thoughts. When will I become ready? Moina's marriage is another issue. Will I ever get married?

Bigger flat, car, foreign trips, beautiful girls - things that stopped bothering me, sometimes keep sending signals about their presence from inside my mind. I try to stick to my definition of happiness. The tangible desires should me removed completely, intangibles are more worthy (Curtsy - Sunil Sharma Sir). Sometimes I question myself- have I created a false definition of happiness to save money or to avoid embarrassment. Later I again realise, if that is my decision, I should be happy about my decision.